arthi 26 December 2015

Psyco husband

My husband I have got separate from last 2 months. I was married for 2.5 years and it was a love marriage. He has issues with his manhood and it was hidden from me. We have never had any intimate relationship between us. He and his mother (who knew about the situation) hide this from me. After the marriage I realized it. When asked about it he dodged the question and picked up fights on something else and diverted the topic. He always spent more time with his mother and she helps him in avoiding me. Even when he did night shifts and came late, be it at 2:00am to 4:00am, she always got up and they used to sit and talk hours together even at that hour just to avoid going to bed with me. She always accompanied us wherever we went. She used to pick up fights with lame excuses if I went even for a small walk with him. During out trip to Darjeeling and Gangtok (Apr 2015), she came with us forcefully and stayed in the same room in both the places for all 10 days.
Whenever I asked to get treatment for his impotency he gave one or the other reason. All this happened in front of his mother. They also said that no one gets married just to have s*x. Eventually after many fights I had to let go of it and move on as I was ashamed to talk about this to my parents and friends
After a year when I talked about having a child with medical help he never showed any interest and like always made some lame excuse. His mother supported him and asked me if I really wanted to have kids. I felt deceived and made me depressed as I found no reason to look forward in life. But I constantly pushed to visit a fertility clinic, it led to many fights. He and his mother said that he will not get any treatment, nor they are interested in having a child and I should do what I want to.
They not only mentally harrassed me but also my husband used beat me and psh me against the wall and hurt me. I used to tolarate all this only hoping that it will be al fine one day and also since it was love marriage I had no face to go to my people (I do not have paretnts, i was raised by relatives). huband has serious anger issues and is of very suspecioud mind. he used to call all my friends in office and threten them using abusive language. due to which many of my friends stopped talking to me.
from last May the tourture become intolarable so I left the house and am in a PG. my husband has filed a adultery case on me and one of my friend saying we have an affair.
I am ok to divorce him but not on the grounds he is saying. I have told him to file a mutual divorce but he is not agreeing. He acts like a psyco and says that he will not let me live happily even and make sure I roam court to court. He knows as per law he cannot hurt me in adutery case so he is thretening me that he will spoil my friend's life and his career. my lawer said that he must be doing to to avoid giving money. i even told him that i do not want any money from him. still he doesnt understand. he said that i have to go back to him and live with him else he will go with the case. i do not have that kind of money or mental strenght to deal with this maddness. please help me with some suggestions as what i should do.
since I wanted to come out of this mess sooner and move to another country basis of my job and start a new life, I did not file any case or police complaint again him. But now will that back fire me? if i now file a police case, will that be considered as a revert to his adultery case? will the judge see that even tho there is alimoney payment, husband is not agreeing for divorce? what do I do next? How do I protect my friend from this vindictive husband

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8 Replies

Sidharth 26 December 2015

Dear Arthi

You can file divorce petition Section 12 in The Hindu Marriage Act, 195512 Voidable marriages .—(1) Any marriage solemnised, whether before or after the commencement of this Act, shall be voidable and may be annulled by a decree of nullity on any of the following grounds, namely:—12 [(a) that the marriage has not been consummated owing to the impotence of the respondent; or]

You can also file fir u/s 498a and 406

arthi 26 December 2015

Thank you Sidhart. can this be done even after 2. 5 years of marriage? i was told by my lawyer that the questions regarding the delay will raise and would not hold ground.

also, repeated a notice is being sent to my freind's house where he stays with his family where he is questioned about us. This has bought a lot od bitterness between us but i feel sad that i am responcible for this his trouble. what shold he do legal and how can he stop this harrassment.

Sidharth 26 December 2015

Yes, you can do it even after 2.5yrs of marriage. You're right that your husband will raise this point but judges understand that girls always hesitate while talking about these problems. Your husband definitely asked to undergo through medical test Don't worry much about your friend he is not legally bound to reply any notice sent by any lawyer. I think your husband will be on back foot when you file cases suggested in my previous reply.

adv.raghavan (Advocate,9444674980) 26 December 2015

If you are sure he is impotent you can file divorce under same grounds, and onus lies on you to adduce evidence ,along with alimony. I hope your complaint do not have any mentioning about dowry harrassment, so based on the allegations you can opt for Ipc 323, 506 AND 120b, impleading her mother.

Ompal Aggarwal (Advocate) 26 December 2015

If ur in laws ill-treating u harrasing u than filed complaint to police CAW cell and also filed divoced petition u/s 13 n if sure regarding impotency of ur husband thatfilled U/s 12 of HMAfor declaring ur marriage as voidable.Petion u/s 12 can be filled at any time after when u came to know this fact. There is no time bar

A walk alone (-) 26 December 2015

Adultery is not easy to prove. He cant prove anything if you are innocence. File the case as suggested by sidharth sir.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 27 December 2015

Ground reality: You say he is impotent, he says you are adulterous - very compatible allegations indeed. God, or somebody like him/her, alone knows the truth but it will be difficult for both to establish the allegation against the other. If either party does not consent to a divorce, well... by the time you are done with appeals and stuff... 5 years will pass by during which none of you can get married, presuming that the appeal is timely filed. If you get married, it will be null and void ab initio.. that is from start.

Advice: This was a "love marriage" - so much for love. I presume, based upon the past "love" experience, you have succesfully tested the impotency of the new guy. You can always claim later that you were not having an affair with the new guy but only testing his impotency so that you do not face the same problems after marriage the second time around. If during the five years, the new guy decides to bid adieu, it will be easy for him because there will be no marriage between you that will be legally enforceable and you too can walk away from him easily - there will be no need for filing divorce. Another option: You can test impotency of multiple candidates during the long wait of 5 years and then choose the one most suitable. You are fully justified in doing so based upon the bad "love marriage" experience the first time.

I have started believing that the Indian Court system is God-made to preserve our culture. Otherwise, God knows how many divorces would have been passed on a monthly basis...

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Dr Katta Venkata Rama Krishna (Retd Sr Director Govt of India/ Advocate) 27 December 2015

1) It is stated your husband filed a case of adultery. The following link will throw light on adultery.

https://www.legalserviceindia.com/helpline/adultery.htm

2) When already the husband filed a case which of course extremely difficult to prove, why not vice versa, as the time and hurdles pending outcome of criminal cases, no change in status of your leaving abroad. The time limit cannot be avoided. You hv to file a criminal case in view of what is narrated by you above.

3) Who will pay whom alimony is not clear as to the occupation of you and your husband whether private or Government.

4) Itis said your husband had living male child which fact was concealed. Does it mean he a divorcee. Where is that child now. What is the position of the first estranged wife. Hv you obtained some evidene to show all these facts before the court.

5) The status of your present boy friend whether single or married unknown. Simply ignoring or keeping silence to notices may contend to be acceptance. If there is no alleged adulterous situation, why not rebut the allegations through your boy friend lawyer who should be a different lawyer other than your cousel, claiming damages.

6) Non consummation within two and half years cannot be delayed ground for filing divorce as advised above. Also read https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/mumbai/breakdown-of-marriage-not-ground-for-divorce/

7) You hv stated not told your parents being ashamed of but again later told no parents. Have you discussed by taking the assistance of your experienced aged elders relatives/ friends or may now do as a last chance to attempt through senior elder friends and proceed filing criminal case.

8) Take the assistance of an experienced reliable local lawyer for the purpose. You may also take the practical guidance from recognized real service oriented Women Welfare Organizations in your ares.