My wife has made my life miserable. There have been several heated arguments in the past 3-4 years and at times she went to her parents house for up to 3-9 months and exerted pressure on us to come and take her back else they will register dowry harassment and domestic violence cases against us. We went to her parents place to ask her to come back and since then every now and then we are blackmailed that if her wishes are not fulfilled she will put us behind the bars by registering the false cases of domestic violence and dowry harassment.

I had no intentions to expand the family but she provoked me to get physical and when the next day I purchased the ipill from a chemist shop and asked her to take the ipill as I don't want to expand the family. She said ok to it and the very next day, she said 'congrats, we are blessed with a baby'. When I enquired about the status of ipill, she said she flushed it in the toilet. Am I legally bound to take up the responsibility of the child when there was no consent for expanding the family. Though on human grounds, the baby is in my house, I am bearing all the expenses to meet his  basic requirements but will not give him a fatherly affection as it is an insult to my self respect.

Recently she hatched a conspiracy with her parents and they went to the police station and harassed my parents. Then they started their game and the cop asked me what to do, either do a patch up or I will register the case. I asked the cop to at least show me the complaint and was shocked to see that my wife has given an application with an allegations that my parents are continuously harassing her for failing to meet the dowry demands and she is physically tortured".  When I questioned her on the authenticity of her allegations, her father said "every thing is fair in love and war" even the cop said, this is just the beginning when the matter moves to court there will be more n more lies.

As we had no choice so we ended up signing  a letter for reconciliation of differences or be ready to live behind the bars.

Relations can not be improved forcefully that too when the person levies false allegations and harass my parents unnecessarily. I am totally disturbed and not able to take a normal sleep. I just woke up at 2:30 am and searching the web for some help

Is there no hope of life for the poor husband?  or they bound to suffer at the hands of wife and in-laws? and wait for the death to relieve them of all the pains.

Please advice.

R,

No use of staying together with such a wife who keeps husband under constant pressure of dowry cases threat. Now don't bow to their demands. Fight like a man. Don't get tensed. If they are making false allegations then let them do now. A case will be registered against you (may be your family members also). Please get Anticipatory Bail asap for all the persons named in her complaint.

I would suggest you to join SIF (a NGO working for the harrassed husbands) in your city. Please do let me know your city and I will give you the details of the meeting in your city. It is required to educate yourself against biased dowry laws. Please don't delay on this matter and be strong to face these cases. If a false 498A is filed on you then don't worry. You can also make their life a hell using the counter cases of false 498A.

Dear Cool,

Can u pls give the details (a NGO working for the harrassed husbands) from the city hyd

aftab

1. Solution to your issues are with a good Marriage Counselor.
2. In a marriage give and take happens and performance of conjugal rites are part and parcel of a marrigae including producing offspring(s). Try the suggested para 1 route jointly for sometime.
All the best.
Rgds.

Aftab here are the details requested by you:-

Dear R

Here are few points that may help you to come out or to protect your parents from the 498a fear.

Helpline Numbers: Delhi: 9810611534, 9312800559, 9911119113, 9818597141, 91-11-51823055

Jaipur: 09352562456 Bangalore: 080-56969850, 98457 15737

All India Helpline Number: 9243473934 (24 hours)

We have joined hands to fight similar type of problems related to false cases in Save Indian Family

yahoo Groups. We suggest you to do following:-

Do not take the matter lightly. This is quite common practice by some greedy and business

minded women in India. Think quick & smart. Whatever happens just stay cool, don’t express

your anger to anyone (Officers, public, neighbors, In-Laws etc.). Stay Polite in EVERY situation.

Contact a lawyer you can trust, ask the members of Save Indian Family Yahoo Group for the

reference of trustable and able lawyer in your area. You have to work harder than your lawyer

and above all keep calm, keep collecting evidence, maintain your professional job etc.

1. Fill the new 498a victim questionnaire at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/files/498a%20Victim%20Questionnaire.doc

2. Make a detailed statement (with every detail you can think of, do not worry if the document

becomes lengthy one) about your innocence and handover to police commissioner in writing

(copies to SHO your local police station, ACP your local police station, DSP your local police station

and a copy to ACP of her local police station. State in the document that you are under threat of

"Falsely Implicating you, your parents and relatives in Dowry related and other criminal cases". If

possible mention Blackmailing etc. This is sort of Advance Declaration from your side about your

situation and your problems. This will be your weapon to defend their allegation.

If you have any evidence, file a complaint in police station and get a stamped copy, if not possible

send through registered post. Then move to court and try to register the same under criminal

procedure 156(3), for necessary investigation.

If the complaint made in police, CAW cell , try to get the copy and apply for Anticipatory bail , court

notice for protection whatever applicable as per your state , at any cost you or your family member

should not surrender to police , once you are able to get the bail , they will be under pressure .

Collect all the related judgments, from Supreme Court and high court, to get the bail easily.

Always ask the bail for family members first (except husband) . Once the same achieved , then

apply for the bail for husband in lower court , lower court will may reject it , move to session

court ( may reject it ) , move to high court ( may reject it ) , then move to supreme court , we are

here to help you out.

Normally at High court it self the bail or arrest stop judgment gives, as they know Supreme Court

Judges are not fool. In case of TADA/POTA also people get bail, this is a family dispute only.

3. Collect evidences of Your innocene. Because you have to prove that you are innocent. SHE

DOESNT NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING. This you can send to president of India, Prime minister of India,

Human right organization, News paper Editors etc.

4. Be cautious while talking over phone etc. They might be recording it.

5. Record their conversation if they speak to you about all this. Keep the backups of the

evidence.

6. Gain knowledge about laws and your rights. It is very necessary for you to make an effective

Action Plan. Join our group and browse for the uploaded files in our website and search in Google

for 'Misuse of 498A'. Gain knowledge and confidence. Because only you know about your

relationship status and having knowledge about LAWS and FACTS definitely will help you to make

an effective plan.

7 Don’t by shy in public. Don’t try to hide this matter anymore. This happens in each and every

3rd house in India. Let neighbors, friend circle and others know the facts from you before she

spreads any FALSE story.

8. If possible keep track of their current activities if you have some 'Reliable Source of

information' from the other side.

9. Check for the evidence in your premises which could be used to prove that she is NOT willing to

continue with you and SHE JUST WANTS TO WALK OUT FROM THE BOND OF MARRIAGE for no

apparent reason.

9. If you want to reduce the problem for your family members, disown your self from your father

legally and book a working hostel /accommodation , to show that you stay separately , no relation

with your other family members .

10. Join SaveIndianFamily yahoo group and post your questions. Send a message to

saveindianfamily-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Don’t feel Sad/Bad/Pity. We have to face this situation BOLDLY. No other alternate. stay happy at

any cost, we all are with you!!!!!