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Samuel (CEO)     05 December 2012

Pls suggest:498a wife-can be forgiven to home?yesorno

Kindly share you expertise and experience:

 

Ø  Can a false 498a and DV wife be forgiven and allowed back to family life?

 

Kindly provide your YES/NO with a neat brief.., let others know the consequences.



Learning

 26 Replies


(Guest)

No way. WhY??

Infact 498a families should be abolish.

Please understand that dowry-deaths and physical abuse may be happening in rural areas but in cities where such things hardly happens,  498a is being used (or rather misuse to extort money)

 

Why to file 498a? She could have gone for MCD if she wanted to ?  She should not be respected as I have never seen a case where parents, sisters are not falsly implicated.

So they should not be respected. No marriages in such families.

God will punish them for sure one day but why to wait for that day? Better punish them and do tit-for-tat. Normally men cary big heart and forgice such women.

But think otherwise, what if a husband has filed a similar false case against wives family ? Will she forgive you? No. Why should you? Whu should anyone?

1 Like

victim (master)     05 December 2012

NO

 

As per my observation and study on this topic, I can say that no 498a or dv case is filed all of a sudden, It involves lot of planning and plotting beforehands to create a solid FIR to start investigation quickly and in many cases arrest also.

 

when she planned upto that extent and triggered such cases ( assuming all mediations are failed) then I dont see any valid reason for withdrawing such case except the fact that they realised that its going to be very very very tough to prove their point in court and they will loose this case and on grounds of cruelty husband will get divorce then no one is going to support her.and many such social reasons.

 

At the same time we cant ignore the fact that in almost all 498a cases boy side is given benifit of doubt as girl's side is not able to produce strong evidences and during this episode she also come to know about the procedures and requirements for such cases and this time due to any reason if she again decides to attempt such thing then she will fabricate all strong material evidences and then she will triger the case then it will be next to impossible for the man to save himself and his family.

 

The basic element of trust is lost somewhere so no use of compromise after filing cases.

 

They were just my views and I will like to know views of others as well.

2 Like

Ranee....... (NA)     05 December 2012

depends

maks (SE)     06 December 2012

1. NO: Because, cops would've came to your house with some papers in hands, they would've taken you and list of people enrolled in those papers with them. Those papers are not tickets to your entire family to go kasi, thirupathi and rameshwaram and for you it is not a special package which reminds honeymoon trip. Since 498A filed you and your entire family would've suffered for a long time around 2-3 months with different experiences like different expressions of neighbours, relatives, friends, kind of guiltyness in social life/personale/ work life.

If she really wants to seperate from you there are number of ways, no need to file such criminal and civil cases. She would've come up with elders for settlement, who could deal the issue softly, filing maintenance and divorce etc.

Or if she wants to live with you and wants to settle the earlier issues, here also there are ways, she would've came up with elders for compromising, if not she would've filed RCR, if not she would've talked to you alone(atleast over phone), or she would've Requested WC for counselling, or she would've waited for some more time.

Initially they would've though in different way that you would've scared of these cases and definitely come for settlement with a good package(money bag) with which she could live her life with second husb happyliy. But by this time she would've understand the benefits that the coming baggage is not of money but bag is coming with gray matter and got an idea on what she lost and going to loose in near future.

In this case/situation why one(victim) should accept the second offer when the result of first offer not yet shared by your best half, let her taste it.

2. YES: Because, for me it seems like you still have feelings for her and you would've know about your wife well. if the issues are really family matters with egos then consider YES.

You would've know about your wife and her parents, it is definitely not her who went to PS and filed a case on her own, it is not her who went to an advocate and sent you DVA notice. Behind all these actions there must be a master brain which lives in blackhole (it might be her father or some well wisher on otherside) whose ego was hurted or want to show his heroism and your wife would just be a marionette. once their heroism comes down and there are no new trics to show their mastery they will calm down and will do nothing.

If you have children then definitely think about the reunion. I am sure we are humans habituated to learn from past and present, so think positively. She would've tasted real results of 498A and if learned from that she would never try it again and even never thinks about it. (If unfortunately in future, she did so and the same thing happens again, then as you are already aware of the process you could handle it easily). But if you've done any mistakes earlier then learn from this lesson and never repeat them again.

At the EOD we are just HUMANS not kings and queens to remain in history forever. Life is very short and dont waste it with egos and taking revanges through courts, it is just waste of time. In wars in history, if any one is hurt and feeling unbearable pain the other will kill him(sort of mercy kill). But if we apply our judiciary system there, then it will kill the time not the sufferer and pain remans till u die.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     06 December 2012

 

1. S. 498a IPC was created ostensibly to keep women alive...… or “staying alive”, as the naarebaazi of feminists like Ms. Indira Jaising (Lawyers Collective who gifted you DV Act too) goes! It is another matter that most metro women filing S. 498a IPC these days are hale and hearty and lack any of the evidences on their body or mental condition the kind of which should attract S. 498a IPC in the first place. And it is also bizarre to hear here @ Lord say that “most of the S. 498a IPC cases sees acquittal because it is difficult to bring evidence off 4 walls of a home!”. I mean with one masterstroke sentence of @ Lord you sent all metro Indian women’s back to cave age. 

 

2. For those who do it in name of child, family, happiness etc, the question is simple: Will your child be safe in a family where one parent files false case on another parent, for whatever 'reasons'?

 

3. Even a dysfunctional family can get back on track, but that does not happen after criminal cases are filed against one person. The whole idea of filing criminal case is that it is serious enough not to be a private or family matter anymore. So when you have been stripped naked as a criminal due to one S. 498a IPC case, is it really possible to gain respect and happiness back by compromising?

 

4. Isn't it better to fight back fully and indeed gain the respect of your child(ren) in future, that you did not buckle down under pressure and injustice in name of some personal comforts.

 

5. Moreover metro women who file false S. 498a IPC while having children are in ready frame of mind to use children as nothing but weapons in their overall fight, so getting back in name of children will not work, but may expose you along with your own child(ren) to even more greater danger.

 

 

IMP.: Any one who has a fraction of self esteem left will not take back a S. 498a lady back into his life. Today you have lot more avenues available off the shelf then having same desert with criminal a-la- crème intent served daily!.

You can assess yourself and decide instead of asking us as it is going to be your call.

6 Like

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     06 December 2012

strictly "No' to them.

1) They are all greedy in nature , for the want of soembody hard earnt money. They know clearly  the fact that in past men had given handsome money to women who filed false 498a. so they also loved quick money with fast divorce option. Since courts had realised its misuse and more men started fighting, now they find reality that they wont be getting legally extroted money.

2)What is the gaurantee that she wont do it again after maknig few more onesided evidences and creating problem again

3) do you think you can adjust with such women leaving all the pain and scars in society?

I just filed divorce pettition in my case for just she wrote to commisioner falsely that i was demanding money. Not even 498a, even women who think to threaten with dowry are no worth. They are social cheater to cause pain on somebody

 

RK (adada)     06 December 2012

No because Marriage is based upon Trust, respect and Love, with 498 case filed by wife all 3 basic ingredients of marriage are violated, hence Can not be forgiven under any circumstances.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     06 December 2012

Yes.  Many persons have lived happily even after 498a.

 

At times husbands are guilty but not willing to pay the price.  At times wife's feel no mor ethreat from husband and wishes no more threat form himAt times both may be guilty and at times both may be innosent.

Even if wife is guilty there is no justification for husband to ensure that he and his is punished for her guilt.

 

Both of them in the process badly lost the matrimonial worth for remarriage and are second hand choice.


In case of re-marriage there is no guarantee for husband that he may not again get 498a saavy wife ytaking advantage of his history and in case of wife there is no guarantee that in re-marriage she may not get a dowry greedy husband taking advantage of her histoy.

 

Peace is never costly.  If reonciliation is possible then think that god is kind on both of you and do not defy him.

 

N.B I do not want to enter in any debate with thos who want to keep th e pot boiling

1 Like

victim (master)     06 December 2012

When marriage took place initially poth parties trusted each other or potrayed as if both parties trusted each other but anyways outcome was 498a, pwdva and other byproducts of such marriage.

 

Now girl's side want to compromise/reconcile and again we are expected to trust them just due to a reason

 

"In case of re-marriage there is no guarantee for husband that he may not again get 498a saavy wife ytaking advantage of his history and in case of wife there is no guarantee that in re-marriage she may not get a dowry greedy husband taking advantage of her histoy."

 

"Both of them in the process badly lost the matrimonial worth for remarriage and are second hand choice. "

 

(above mentioned two lines were mentioned by a very senior member of this forum)

 

Trust me members here I enquired with lots of members and also to many lawyers at my place that is there any legal remedy in form of MOU or any agreement or bond for my concerns mentioned in previous post

 

" for first time she was under the impression that laws are completely in her favour and she can easily bend you to her terms BUT now she had realised that its not that easy she needs very strong evidences in her support and this time she will surely try to procure such strong material evidences and if she fails to collect then she will fabricate the same there at your place and  then it will be a very difficult situation."

 

And everyone said you cannot get immunity at any stage, if you cant trust dont go ahead for reunion, she can disown any of her statement (written or oral) at some later stage and will say that she made such statement under pressure. So again Trust is required and at ver begining same Trust was betrayed.

 

Finally this Mr. Victim wants to ask that how wise it will be to trust again such family and live entire life in fear and become a permanent victim (this time by choice).

 

think on this as wel

"Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good"
– Mahatma Gandhi.

 


(Guest)

NO, Never , Nahi , illa , Na baba na ....... This is the onkly answer to your question !!

The person saying YES (or DEPENDS or MAYBE ) is either a 498a bride herself or one of the pricks whose daughter or sister is sitting at their house after filing a number of bogus cases against her husband.

and Sudhir , why should one take a risk of living with a wife who is unpredictable and likes to keep the pot boiling every single minute of her life expecting the extortion amount from husband and in-laws  ???

Can you please provide a single reference where couple lived happily after getting a string of imaginary criminal cases from wife ??? I think you live in dreams buddy ..... come out of it and FACE LIFE :)

 

  

2 Like

Never Give Up (Fighter)     07 December 2012

No , Never.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     07 December 2012

dear Gunjan, right now a firend of mine is prosecuting a case where the couple is jointly going to High Court for quashing of 498a FIR after deciding to unite.

 

We should nto decide sitting before private computer that the complaint was false only.  It could have been true or false. The fact is that whether complaint was false or true if both sides wasnt to buy peace they should.

1 Like

(Guest)

Dear Sudhir ,

I think you are just a bit over excited because one of your friend has reunited with a 498a wife again ... I will say before making any opinion you should WAIT , WATCH and ANALYSE first .

As a generalistic view point most of the cases are false and bogus .. and you know that too . I just dont understand what do you mean by " dont have to buy peace" ?? The fact is if you accept a 498a wife back ( * for most cases ) you loose your peace completely and risk your life by giving her more chances to entangle you in leagal traps .  I hope you understand now ... and i wish good luck to your friend ( if there is one ) to carry this burden for rest of his life ...Cheers :)

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     08 December 2012

We are nobody to stop him from proceeding if god has decided to be kind to him.