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fighting back (exec)     15 March 2012

Does throwing away of mangalsutra amount to cruelty on husbn

Dear sir,

 kindly advice on the following, my wife threw away my mangalsutra in front of me on the very first day and abused me which has trumatised me a lot, since then i have not kept fruitful relations with her and even stopped living with her for  a few months ( we lived separetly in a rented accomodation) i used to stay with my parents. now she is threatening to file a case of harassment and RCR against me because i dont stay with her.

if throwing away of mangalsutra is indeed a cruelty act, then how do i prove it in court as i dont have evidence, and can she file  a case against me for RCR as i am not staying with her, and she is staying alone and i pay her the rent and expenses.

kindly advice. thnks



Learning

 40 Replies

Adv.R.P.Chugh (Advocate/Legal Consultant (rpchughadvocatesupremecourt@hotmail.com))     15 March 2012

Dear Sanjay,

She can file an RCR anyday, however you can set up the defence of cruelty and ask for a counter claim of divorce. The fact that you don't have evidence of Mangalsutra incident, is but natural, and the court's understand that it's hard to find independant evidence in such cases, try getting her to admit that incident and record that. Also be prepared for 498A/406 that may come with the RCR

fighting back (exec)     15 March 2012

Dear Mr chugh,

would like to thank you for you valuable inputs, i would like to futher ask you, if i fail to accept or comply with the RCR filed against me, what would happen? if i claim that my wife has always tortured me by verbal abuses against my gender (which is a fact) and i cannot bear to hear this everyday residing with her, she abuses my parents in my face even if they are not present around and  not living with her, kindly advice sir, as i wish to get out of this marriage at any cost, and is the throwing away of the mangalsutra a good ground for divorce.

thanking you and awaiting your kind reply

regards

sanjay

Ruchika Anand (HR)     16 March 2012

I dont understand that just throwing away mangalsutra disturbs you so much that you dont want to stay with your wife any more????

Mangalsutra , Chura , sindoor , black sari white sari etc are just mere things whether a person wear or throw it hardly matters. what matters is a relation with your wife you should rather know why your wife threw mangalsutra and what mental trauma she is going through.

And throwing mangalsutra is no cruelty rather she would be traumatised by you in someway that she got frustrated and showed her anger in this way.

Marriage is not bsed on mangalsutra whether your wife wears or not you still her husband try to sought out things between or take a help of a counsillor rather satisfying your ego by prooving it a cruelty.

1 Like

bhima balla (none)     16 March 2012

Originally posted by :Ruchika Anand
"
I dont understand that just throwing away mangalsutra disturbs you so much that you dont want to stay with your wife any more????

Mangalsutra , Chura , sindoor , black sari white sari etc are just mere things whether a person wear or throw it hardly matters. what matters is a relation with your wife you should rather know why your wife threw mangalsutra and what mental trauma she is going through.

And throwing mangalsutra is no cruelty rather she would be traumatised by you in someway that she got frustrated and showed her anger in this way.

Marriage is not bsed on mangalsutra whether your wife wears or not you still her husband try to sought out things between or take a help of a counsillor rather satisfying your ego by prooving it a cruelty.
"

 Under the same argument why should a muslim worry about quran burning? Why should a country make its flag burning a crime? Maybe it was her ego that made her do it? Mangalsutra traditionally is a powerful symbol of marriage.Throwing it away is akin to dissolution.Certainly it is cruelty. The next time she steps on the picture of his parents deliberately, would someone say that it is not cruelty? Such blatant disrespect cannot/ must not be tolerated.

1 Like

ABHISHEK B (Bekaaar)     16 March 2012

Amazing Ruchika Anand...

@Rajanjoshi...these mangalsutra, chura, sindoor etc are of no relevance for our modern educated Hindu Pati Vrata Sati Savitris. They have the full right to show disrespect at there own whims& fancies. You cannot be mentally tortured....coz its ONLY girls who have the sole right of being harassed.

Since all these are mere 'things'.....I would suggest you, to get a photograph of her parent's and everytime you get traumatised and feel frustated, trample on the photo and use it as your tissue paper, in front of her eyes. She being such an understanding and mature lady, will take it all in good humour.

Jokes apart....no society can force someone to live with physcopaths..let her file RCR....filing RCR itself means she has no previous qualms againt you....which is good for you if any false case is filed.

Definitely try out counselling. Try to put yourself in her shoe and understand what she wants in life. In divorce both parties are loosers in eye of society. Don't expect you will be gaining any brownie points. Don't take decision out of anger or ego. However, don't accept any kind of cruelty metted against you. Divorce is a legal right.

2 Like

bhima balla (none)     16 March 2012

If what you say in toto is true it indeed must be cruelty. No one can stay with such a person. Filing divorce maybe the way to go. But in this country of wife/ DIL empowerment laws, be prepared for fake cases against you. A person's dignity and self respect is important and non negotiable. Try marriage counselling, behavioural modification etc.If she does not agree or  her misbehaviour continues- be prepared for divorce.

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com)     16 March 2012

Dear Querist if she file any case or RCR against you and you are not ready to fight the case, she get the ex-party decree in her favour and against you and she will be right to file a divorce petition against you on this ground and also claim maintenance. feel free to call

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     16 March 2012

 

Ruchika Anand

 

simply just great !

& funny to

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     16 March 2012

real incident - 

a girl asked a boy -

what security would u offer me if i marry u ? (eg. fixed deposite / property transfer on my name etc.)


a woman can claim maintenance from her hubby under 4 laws - 

crpc 125, DV, HMA, Hindu adoption & maintenance act.


still this girl wants further more assurance from her to be husband.


let me ask - 

is it cruelty against wife to die before her ?


Ranee....... (NA)     16 March 2012

But why this happened in very first day of marriage..?I cant understand..Author, Please enlighten us..In a healthy marriage these things(sindur, manglassutra matter a lot)..I think your marriage has some problem .

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     16 March 2012

many a times one is compelled to ferret the logic behind some illogical thing.

Ruchika Anand (HR)     16 March 2012

I dont deny the fact or i am not justifying here that throwing managalsutra is right or wrong..

Its a symbol of marriage if she throws it she is throwing you and unless and untill some one is not in right state of mind or have some grudges against each other or hold some negative feelings against each other only person is bound to do such act.

Fighting a court case is no big deal and any tom and harry can file for divorce but think of amount , time , energy you have given to a relationship is not worth one fight on this issue which is related to thowing mangalsutra.  

Its always the mistake of both parties not just one.I am not saying you are wrong or she is wrong.

Communiction is a key to it..if you can stay with your parents so can she but she is still in her rented apartment if i am not wrong.

There is no assurance that next time you marry or your next wife may not throw a mangalsutra.

Correst me if i am wrong 

Ranee....... (NA)     16 March 2012

Originally posted by :Amit---------------
"
many a times one is compelled to ferret the logic behind some illogical thing.
"

 Who is "one" here Amit. ?What is logical and what is illogical here?

ABHISHEK B (Bekaaar)     16 March 2012

The author has already pointed out that Mangalsutra throwing is not the ONLY reason. Obviously, there must have been many such incidents which has led to the point of no return. No one is the judge over here to decide who is right or wrong, where is the evidence, what other proof one has, what circumstances, etc etc..let court decide that, and author make the move without being too carried away.

The title reads simple...Whether throwing mangalsutra is a cruelty or not.....the answer is also simple...Yes it is definitely an act of mental cruelty upon the husband. Period.