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sanjeev001 (executive)     27 January 2012

Can i voluntarily stay away from wife providing her rented

dear sir,

             kindly advice on the following matter, due to frequent disputes in the family, between my wife and parents, i have been forcefully been told by my wife to live separately from my parents. accordingly i have taken a rented accomodation for myself and wife. i visit my parents often and this irritates my wife, who insists that i stay with her and her only. i have lunch and dinner at my parents place as my wife is an extremely poor cook, this however irritates her, and threatens to pull me to the police station for keeping away from her most of the time.  this leads to frequent quarrels between us, due to which i have decided that i will keep away from her to avoid frequent quarrels and disputes and false accusations of harrasment. i am willing to pay the rent and monthy expenses.

i want to know the following:

1) can i stay away from her voluntarily and pay the monthly expenses. can i be forced to stay with her by law, if she insists

2) by agreeing to stay away am i in a legally right position. will i be forced be law to  stay with her, to avoid frequent disputes and quarrels i am ready to stay away from her

 

thanks and awaiting your kind guidance.



Learning

 10 Replies

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     27 January 2012

Firstly, she is like a law which is a a jealous mistress always wants you to pay attention to her,  and may be your wife loves you too much as she can not keep her eyes away from you. And you want to get away from her due to frequent quarrel, that will create havoc in her and hurricane will come out of her, so dont do that. Just try to make her understand your duties towards your parents; and also let her take lesson in cooking telling her that the easiest way of entering a man's hear is a good cook. I dont see anything serious in your relationship. You both must try to adjust with each other. But slowly, I am getting scared of Indian women whom I was having high regards ans respect.

2 Like

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     27 January 2012

No law can force someone to stay with other person.

 

However, if peeved she can file frivolous cases and then the same would be a lengthy court battle.

 

Better to resolve the disputes amicably.

 

 

Regards,

 

Shnee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

2 Like

Adv.R.P.Chugh (Advocate/Legal Consultant (rpchughadvocatesupremecourt@hotmail.com))     27 January 2012

Dear Querist,

It's best to seek Judicial Seperation in such a matter. What Judicial Seperation would do is it makes cohabitation non compulsory. It is granted on the same grounds as divorce i.e cruelty, adultery etc. Its best to go in for in cases like we have here, were a party hates living together as much as the thought of divorce. It would give you plenty time to bounce back or part away. The best part about this is - if it remains in force for a year i.e you stay away for a year, and then you want to get out the union. The divorce path is also made a lot easier.

Best of Luck

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     27 January 2012

@ Author,

While continuing on Assumi's opening sentence advise I add following;

1. Submit a simple Information Application before area Police Station stating that

"We both as husband and wife are staying under your Jurisdiction from such and such date as my wife feels comfortable living away from her maternal home away from where my parents live. Further it is informed that since my wife is a poor cook I take my lunch and dinner at my parents home which is walking distance away and also falls under your jurisdiction. I have tried my best to encourage her to join cooking classes and or learn cooking for her own good and for harmony in our married life but all in vein. Since I read in media about false allegations of wife on petty issues turning into IPC / CrPC cases all these I am stating without any pressure and falsity and is to protect my self and my parents in case of any future eventualities / steps taken by my wife / her side of family members. Kindly give me a diary entry number on my information application for record purposes only and I am sending by Registered AD a true copy of my this information application to your kind self".


By submitting in local police station above “information application” you are creating some evidences of any future retaliation by your Srimati ji side by side protecting yourself. Also I agree to cooking classes idea pushed by Assumi as a husband is not expected to eternity eat low standard cooked food and then go to office and earn a living for his metro wife or sleep empty stomach and or even order on daily basis home deliveries all due to finances and money management etc.

Coming to your two questions which to me are mixed question of self preservation read as scared of marital future in case any criminal / civil cases filed if law is not known to you which Govt. says every adult shall know Law of the land and ignorance of Law is no excuse.


1
Can i stay away from her voluntarily and pay the monthly expenses. can i be forced to stay with her by law, if she insists.
Take: After marriage of two genders it is expected before the same society that these two genders keep to project themselves as husband and wife. That is societal obligations expected form a couple. If you put law into it then after marriage either spouse can voluntarily abstain company of other on grounds of keeping ‘long term harmony’ instead of relations turning sour provided ‘grounds’ exists. You have ‘ground’ for staying away that is bad cooking and your health spoiling away which when challenged under say S. 125 CrPC suit may be in future by your wife seeking maintenance (say) then are enough to negate her first charge. The bonus of such voluntary abstinent you are providing is ‘regular upkeep’ of family kitty and there is no ‘neglect” so such charges under say S. 125 CrPC suit if she files (say) would dilute her advances.
But same charges under Divorce suit if she files will be seen from different angle for a simple reason ‘no s*x’ between spouse is ground under cruelties but if home and maint. are regularly provided and these two are the charges to seek divorce under cruelties then same does not stand before test of Law under divorce.
Flip above two and take charges (say) she may file under Domestic Violence of “going to In Laws home for basic meals” than same cannot come under domestic violence be it under the most flavory Sections therein.
Last what Shoonee probably might have in mind with his cult take and expanding herein if she files for RCR (S. 9 HMA – restitution of conjugal rights) suit and places grounds of not staying at home for lunch and dinner then same will not stand test and moreover even if she wins somehow her RCR suit then no acts of even God can ask un-willing spouse to stay under same roof and with passage of time RCR gets converted into Divorce between such un-fortunate couples facts before us.
However your briefs before us read with two questions does not bring confidence that right now your marital stage has come to later said levels but the present status are leading to possible split is what it may show to trained eyes unless corrective course adopted as ‘ one sided calculated sacrifice’.


2 By agreeing to stay away am i in a legally right position. will i be forced be law to stay with her, to avoid frequent disputes and quarrels i am ready to stay away from her
Take: What is legally stated as sum total answer under this second question is termed as “separation” and by such charges one can yes get ‘seperation’ decree from court but why go to that level as mere ‘seperation’ the bonds of marriage does not get dissolved for any future activities so sum total balance your day-today needs and supply accordingly as you are one who is suffering and with such short briefs it becomes difficult to expressly point to one direction as ‘gurumantra” on what to do and what laws says exclusively about such activities as stated in your opening brief on reason to shift shared household yet keeping ties with parents. It all boils down to careful adjustments and giving space by spouses.

 
However your above 2 questions are stop gap arrangements you are forced as social person to experiment. In my view both of you need finality as marital life cannot run on staying away from shared home during lunch and dinner and tomorrow suppose if she snores badly then where your nites will be spent and day after tomorrow she says she likes Manali or Darjeeling hill stations let us shift there....so there is no end to desires and whims and fancies of female married metro spouse! Think for long term solution and plan / take present steps accordingly. 

5 Like

(Guest)

@Sanjeev

 I agree with tajobs advise .For the sake of your wife you are living seperate from your parents and now if you meets your parents ,she is having problems ,she knows that whatever she  said ,you have to do for her thats why she is now and  then threatening you.so,before legal battle Think for long term solution and plan / take present steps accordingly. that tajobs said.



(Guest)
Originally posted by :Kushan Vyas
"
@Sanjeev

 I agree with tajobs advise .For the sake of your wife you are living seperate from your parents and now if you meets your parents ,she is having problems ,she knows that whatever she  said ,you have to do for her thats why she is now and  then threatening you.so,before legal battle Think for long term solution and plan / take present steps accordingly. that tajobs said.


 
"

hi, had fight with the two deviyon?

buttering guruji?

1 Like

Aishwarya (Teacher)     27 January 2012

to the ld. members...

.ld is learned right ?...i dont knw but u ppl kinda use it now n then so am putting it as it is..

there are issues resulting into divorce or resolution...

i heard that there is also results given by some judges in form of "SEPERATED BUT NOT DIVORCED" ..

just for knowledge sake..what underlines these kind of judgements..?

Aishwarya (Teacher)     27 January 2012

to the ld. members...

.ld is learned right ?...i dont knw but u ppl kinda use it now n then so am putting it as it is..

there are issues resulting into divorce or resolution...

i heard that there is also results given by some judges in form of "SEPERATED BUT NOT DIVORCED"

..just for knowledge sake..what underlines these kind of judgements ?

thnx






(Guest)

@Aishwarya

i heard that there is also results given by some judges in form of "SEPERATED BUT NOT DIVORCED"

In which judgment is it said?

I think you are talking for judicial seperation.

 

According to Hindu marriage act,1955 for Hindu including Sikhs, Jains and Buddists

Section 10 said,

 

(1) Either party to a marriage, whether solemnized before or after the commencement of this Act, may present a petition praying for a decree for judicial separation on any of the grounds specified in sub-section (1) of section 13, and in the case of a wife also on any of the grounds specified in sub-section (2) thereof, as grounds on which a petition for divorce might have been presented.

 

(2) Where a decree for judicial separation has been passed, it shall no longer be obligatory for the petitioner to cohabit with the respondent, but the court may, on the application by petition of either party and on being satisfied of the truth of the statements made in such petition, rescind the decree if it considers it just and reasonable to do so.

 

Section 22 in The Indian Divorce Act, 1869 for Christians

 

22. Bar to decree for divorce a mensa et toro; but judicial separation obtainable by husband or wife.- No decree shall hereafter be made for a divorce a mensa et toro, but the husband or wife may obtain a decree of judicial separation, on the ground of adultery, or cruelty, or desertion without reasonable excuse for two years or upwards, and such decree shall have the effect of a divorce a mensa et toro under the existing law, and such other legal effect as hereinafter mentioned.

 

Section 23 in The Indian Divorce Act, 1869

23. Application for separation made by petition.-- Application for judicial separation on any one of the grounds aforesaid, may be made by either husband or wife by petition to the District Court or the High Court; and the Court, on being satisfied of the truth of the statements made in such petition, and that there is no legal ground why the application should not be granted, may decree judicial separation accordingly.

 

 

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     28 January 2012

Aishwarya, it's like our customary systems, married and seperated but not divorce nor married but having children look after by both of them, and both of them doing what ever they like, and family members called them as husband and wife.


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