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Jeet (abc)     27 May 2011

unborn baby hanging between me and my wife dispute

Hi there, I got married on November 2010, in UP. After that we came to Mumbai (My place). I work in a call center, where my working hours are usually at night. She was uncomfortable with me and my family. She told me to quit the job and wanted to move to UP. A regular dispute happened evrytime and later I got to know that she is pregnant. I told her not to keep the baby as we were on our verge to be get separated, as things were not so good as we thought with each other.

She left pune, her uncle place. I went over there to calm her down but she refused to come, she stayed for 1 month and now she is back in her mother place, UP. Now as of today the baby have grown to 3 and a half month. Now the question is I am fed up with her as she never listened to me for dropping the baby on first place, what can I do in such case as I dont want to stay with her and I never gave approval to keep her pregnancy ...... Now, she is blackmailing me that she will keep the child, which I never asked for and file a dowry case. Staying with her means giving my another 30-35 years to her as a slave and dancing to her tunes. Please give me some legal advice as my parents are extremly worried about the unborn baby and me. Thanks.



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 14 Replies

Ambika (NA)     27 May 2011

You have no right to ask her to abort the baby. Forcing her to do it was  an act of worst sort of cruelty both against your wife and the featus. Naturally your wife would not like to come back to you and your family under these conditions. She may file a very  true 498A / DV case against you. As you are asking advice in the open forum, she also must be consulting some expert lawyer at her place and the facts which you have stated about how you pressurised her to drop the unborn baby do not place you in a very comfortable situation. 

Jeet (abc)     27 May 2011

Ambika thanks for your reply....................

 

However the things are different what you see.. I am not forcing her now.......

 

You see, when I got the news that she was pregnant, when the FETUS WAS NOT FORMED, at that time I told her to take pill as I was not happy with her actions.... and I knew that some day that situation will come when we would no longer want to face each other as there were differences......

Again to clear it : Is it okay for a wife to grow a child with a husband consent and knowing that her marriage will no longer be there .....

Jeet (abc)     27 May 2011

I am sorry, it is WITHOUT HUSBAND CONSENT

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     27 May 2011

Jeet ji, Court will not accept whatever one orally say. There has to be sufficient proofs and corroborating evidences to prove a point. Now, it is true that she got pregnant while she was married with you. Presumption  is that, you two are responsible for that pregnancy. So, only if you can prove pregnancy is not because of you, then only you can escape form the liability towards that unborn child. Otherwise there is no other way for you to make her undergo forced abortion now. 

You must understand that one can take thousand false contentions when they come to Court to prove they are innocent. The pivotal point in your case is, how can you prove before the Court that you cautioned her and there was mutual consent between you two about not having a baby at this juncture. If you fail in this, you are responsible for the unborn baby. 

2 Like

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     27 May 2011

You have to respect her decision of not getting the baby aborted. It is her individual choice. And any woman will think twice before taking such decision specially when her marriage is on rocks. As you say, it is only three months pregnancy and it is easy to get aborted if one chooses to. Now, if she has decided not to get the baby aborted, it is her right. You have to bear the responsibility of maintaining her and the baby.

More than anything else, I appreciate her decision of continuing with preganancy. It is not a joke to take the responsibility of being a single parent, taking into consideration that the meager maintenance amount that the Court fixes is not at all enough for both of them though men think it is extortion.  

2 Like

(Guest)

Abortion in the first pregnancy may sometime bring lots of complicacies to the mother's health.She even may loss the capacity to concieve again.So if you are responsible to bring the child to its existence even after so many differences between you and wife, then you should try to adjust with each other for child's sake.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 May 2011

if she want to give birth of the baby - she is right.

you want divorce - it is a seperate matter.

you should not kill your unborn baby.  what is it's fault?  why you want to kill it?

 

her interest is to have a larger maintenance. but she is taking responsibility maintain the baby also.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 May 2011

I never gave approval to keep her pregnancy.

 

---    it is not a subject of your approval.

a baby born by virtue of it's own.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 May 2011

at that time I told her to take pill as I was not happy with her actions.... and I knew that some day that situation will come when we would no longer want to face each other as there were differences......

 

----   you the spouses have the diffrence of opinion.

it is not a cause to kill it.

you think the baby is your property!

but it is wrong.

it is not property, it is liability.

Jeet (abc)     27 May 2011

Hi, even I would react the same way as you reacted...

But the thing you see is different that what I wrote or you understood...

here I frame into points for some better understanding.

1. She is not interested in living with me, and I am not asking NOW to drop the child.
2. She is controlled by her parents.
3. I love kids, she knows that, so I know she would be blackmailing me for rest of her life..
4. The child may or may not be in my custody, hence he would be deprived of father or mother love.
5. She is way too selfish.
6. Her intentions is to emotionally BLACKMAIL me and my parents who are fond of child.

Last....

I CANNOT WITHSTAND HER FOR A SEC AND SHE CANNOT FOR ME.
 

zimmerzapper (student)     27 May 2011

Originally posted by : Zeeshan
" sorry for previous act.

I thought deeply, I think you are right. Even govt. allowed abortion. Pain at this time is much less when after birth you can't able to see your child. 'Hoga hi nahee to hone ke baad na hone ka dukh to nahee hoga.'

One who bear can only understand the pain.

Sorry once again.

I advice you to post your query in expert section. There you get better legal advice.
"

 

 

so to save pain for the parent the child should die? what kind of person are you?

3 Like

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     27 May 2011

6. Her intentions is to emotionally BLACKMAIL me and my parents who are fond of child.

 

---   yes it may be there. generally females do so.

where life of a human being is concerned, nobody will suggest to terminate it without sufficient reason.

you are going to divorce her - it is  a matter between you the spouses, not the unborn baby.

welfare of the baby is in question, for the purpose of ' without sufficient reason '
 

syed (Branch incharge)     27 May 2011

Please dont abort baby

If you want to divorce her then you do but dont kill the baby

that cast you only extra money which you suppose to pay as maintenance, let it be you can spend on baby

one day diffenetly you will proud to be father of her

rajshree (freelance)     27 May 2011

The way couples behave these days while seeking divorce I think the child will be ruined. I am sure after 18 years or so the child will herself or himself say -------- why did you keep me alive?

2 Like

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