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G.V.Azad (Scientific Officer)     29 October 2010

Husband's Extra Marital affair

Mydaughter is 28 yr old married to a MBBS doctor since last 2.5 yrs. She came to know that her husband is having extramarital affair with another unmarried girl. my daughter is having a 16 months old son. she is presently getting moral supprt from her Father in law and from other family members. but her husband is not coming under any body's control. My daughter does not want a divorce, she wants that the illicit girl must keep off her husband and family. she has got the recorded conversation of that illicit girl having admitted the relation.

Now what action can be taken against the illicit girl for her act of having involved with my gaughter's family, putting the life of my daughter and the littile boy in danger and under torture. the family is on the verge of destruction.

What action can be initiated against the straying husband to bring him back on family track. 

there is lot more to write, but it is too painful to put on everything right now.

Kindly suggest some solution.---regards



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 50 Replies

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     29 October 2010

she can seek divorce if u can prove adultery. no criminal action possible against girl or your son in law. better to solve it with help of FIL and family if she wants to continue relation.

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     30 October 2010


Except convincing your daughter's husband you can't do anything.  If your daughter filed any criminal case she will have to prove the illicit relation with the girl.  It is some how difficult.  So in my opinion with the help of the society elders try to convince him.

Another remedy is that if he has got any property your grandson has to file suit for partition and seperate possession of his share against  his father.  In this your daughter will also get her share.  Your grand son also can seek maintenanace from his father.

Two options are here your daughter can opt for both.
 

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     30 October 2010

I agree with Rajeev Sir. 

No, an adultry case cannot be filed under these circumstances. For adultry, the main ingredient is, the other woman should be married woman.

I also agree with other advises given.

1 Like

Kirti Kar Tripathi (lawyer)     30 October 2010

The circumstances in the present case are crucial and it is not easy to get rid from. It is better to get involve the family members of both parties and try to reach an amicable solution. otherwise, no option except to take legal recourse 


(Guest)

FIRST INVESTIGATE THIS MAN'S HISTORY THOROUGHLY.
Has he had multiple s*xual/ romantic partners in the past? Infidelity or adultery is not the disease, merely a symptom of an emotionally immature person. Is there a reason to believe that after he ends it with this other unmarried woman, he will start another affair with another woman? What is his need - is he a s*x addict? Or is he going to other women for some other reason?
Does he drink or smoke? Most people with emotional problems who want to continue EVEN AFTER BEING CAUGHT OR CONTRONTED have a severe emotional dependence on another person and self-esteem issues.
NOTE: HE HAS NEITHER GUILT,  NOR FEAR,  NOR REMORSE AFTER BEING CAUGHT
. Do you understand that this is not a mere one-night stand? This is DELIBERATE, REPEATED ABUSE of your daughter's trust.
Do you understand the implications of going so soft on this person?
I think you should think of the long term. A person who does not understand the meaning of marriage will fall behind on a lot of obligations to his family. He will have poor impulse control and his loyalties will always shift, leaving your daughter with no secure base emotionally and financially. Also, your grandchild will grow up in an unhappy family.
If this had been one single incident and the husband had shown some remorse that would have been different. I don't know why anybody would want their daugher to carry on living with such a man. Kill cancer, or die with it.
Therefore, first think carefully about your reasons to forgive this person, how long you are willing to wait, what level of cooperation this person is showing.
This is not the problem of the 'other woman' and confronting her and getting her statement on tape (while a good step given your circumstances) also shows the level of desperation where you have to approach third party before your son-in-law.

1 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     30 October 2010

i am really sorry to hear of your daughter's plight and can empathise v.well with her.

 

the best thing is that her inlaws support her

i also agree with the views of 498A victim,esp. the 3rd point.

is the girl aware that ur son inlaw is married?if yes,i will say that she's still v.selfish and stubborn who's not leaving him.

i will add one point to 498A victim's suggestions that public humiliation of the gal is v.imp....threaten her once.if she doesnt budge an inch, humiliate her publicly after deciding the proper way to do so.

 u can also sit back with ur samdhis(daughter's sasural wale) and decide a solution on how to get rid of this girl.

there's a possibility that after humiliation the gal may walk out but ur son inlaw may go after another woman,esp if he has the habit of eyeing other girs.in such a situation leniency wont pay any further...u may file DV Act against him,showing all proofs...because laato ke bhoot baato se nahi maante...this formula has to be applied both on your damaad and on that girl...such people need to be dealt with an iron hand and deserve no mercy which has already been shown,esp. to your son inlaw.

all the best.please let us know the results.

 

(PS-i hope indira jaisingh reads this story and realises wot sort of women she's wanting to be given highly respectable names)

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     30 October 2010

she wants that the illicit girl must keep off her husband and family

- illicit relationship can not be stopped by legal action.

- perhaps this relationship started before her marriage.

1 Like

(Guest)

You said that my daughter does not want a divorce; he wants that the illicit girl must keep off her husband and family. Look, In India there is no law (action) which stop llicit girl must keep off her husband.

 

I totally agree with other members

Except convincing your daughter's husband you can't do anything. If your daughter filed any criminal case she will have to prove the illicit relation with the girl.  It is some how difficult. You don’t seek divorce. Talk to your son in law and advice him that extra marital relationship is not good and not good for success of his marital life. If he thereafter continue the relationship with  llicit girl then either accept it or ask for divorce.

 

So, in short your solution is ;

1 Talk to your son in law and advice him that extra marital relationship is not good and not good for success of his marital life.

 

2. If he thereafter continue the relationship with  llicit girl then either accept it. OR

 

3. Ask for divorce.but here  after divorce he married to this girl and what your daughter should get ?:(

1 Like

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     30 October 2010

why to humiliate her . she is another respectable  lady in his life.  there is no IPC prohibiting her to involve with this man. rather her humiliation in public atttracts IPC.

so this i dont dare call her a keep(fear of neo feminists) another lady in his life has right to life and move  freely and do any profession in territory of india as per constitution of our republic.

my legal advise wud be to sit and decide this matter within family and if there is no long term solution in sight divorce him on basis of adultery.

i wish indira jai singh and hoble girija read this and see how people are advising here to humiliate a respectable lady in public , so that a new law similar to IPC 498A  to protect her interests is created.

it may read like



498B. SAUTAN OR mahila morcha  woman subjecting a lady  to cruelty.

Whoever, being the wife of husband or the relative of the husband or wife , subjects another lady in life of a man to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to ten years to death sentence  and shall also be liable to fine.

Explanation-For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-

 
(a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether mental or physical) of the woman; or

(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her to leavestop meeting  her boyfriend or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.

shrikant chede (law officer)     30 October 2010

i agree with Rajiv sir

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     30 October 2010

@ avnish

LOL!

 

To readers

 

you have advised the author not to take legal action but convice the hubby to return to his wife.but the author already said that the man is stubborn and not listening to any1...so?

if a legal action like DV Act is taken against the man,wud it not create fear in his and his "respectable informal lady's ' mind?

when their affair is exposed in court wud they not be put to shame?

they will be fools if they continue the affair even after so much tamasha in court,esp.the respectable lady.

shame and fear are great weapons to discipline someone,more sowhen convincing,pleading etc fail....jab ghee seedhi ungli se naa nikle to ungli teri karni hee parti hai.convincing wud have helped if the man was an easy person to deal with and the "respectable informal lady' was also matured and considerate towards the wife..just look at the man...he;s not even bothered about his little child.

the wife doesnt want a divorce also...instead of advising her to file for divorce,shud she not resort to DV act?kushan is right...divorce will bring them close...so wot will the wife get ultimately?

lastly i also feel that the author,his daughter,her inlaws and other supporters shud collectively meet the parents of the GF and talk to them assertively about this affair and show them the recording also so that parents get convinced of the affair.they shud tell them confidently that they wont tolerate this affair any more.they shud not fear any1 here,because only the wife has right over her husband;not his GF.

rest i leave to the author to judge and decide.

P.S-dear author,"respectable informal lady" here means your son inlaw's Girl friend..

1 Like

(Guest)

Dear G.V.Azad,

Follow Roshni B advise LAST AND ULTIMATE SOLUTION

lastly i also feel that the author,his daughter,her inlaws and other supporters shud collectively meet the parents of the GF and talk to them assertively about this affair and show them the recording also so that parents get convinced of the affair.they shud tell them confidently that they wont tolerate this affair any more.they shud not fear any1 here,because only the wife has right over her husband;not his GF.

This is the only way I hopes so, he will chang his mind.


(Guest)

IF AFTER THAT HE NEVER CHANGE HIS MIND THEN I BECOME A Narasimha Avatar.

2 Like

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     30 October 2010

yes.....

if i am not wrong there's a time limit to filing the DV case(lawyers can guide better)

if it's true then analyse the below situation:

if u keep convincing the man or waiting for a v.long time,thinking that things will improve automatically and they still dont improve,u will finally land up in court to file DV case.

if the case is filed after the time limit to file it is over,the case may get dismissed also,while the man and the "respecatble lady" will have the time of their life.so be fast..

1 Like

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