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Sriram (Assistant Manager)     29 October 2014

Wife threatening to commit suicide

Hi,

I am a techie from Chennai.  I have been married for 3 years.  I have a 1 yr old kid.  Ours is a arranged marriage. Myself and wife lived seperately and my parents lived seperately from the time of my marriage. Recently we (me and wife) moved to our parents home.  Within 15days she had fight with my mom and went to her parents home. Our marriage life was never peaceful.  We always fight.  She is very adament and agressive charecter.  She always threatens to committ sucide and held me and my family responsible for her suicide, if I dont fulfill her demands or listen to her words.  I have decided enough is enough, I told her that we will go for mutual divorce, but she want to live with me, she is threatening me, if I file a contested divorce, she will committ suicide and held me and my parents responsible under dowry, domestic violence and abetment of suicide section.    We never demanded any dowry, we never harressed her. How can I get divorce and save me and my parents from police.  She is a highly educated girl, but not working.  I want divorce and my kid.



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 4 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     29 October 2014

Read in your spare time below link and after understanding come back here for legal remedy

 

https://www.bpdcentral.com/help-for-families/bpd-articles/?What-to-do-when-feeling-manipulated-by-suicide-threats-10 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     29 October 2014

Hi Sriram,

As your wife is highly educated, please check whether she wants to work.

If so, support her to go to work and earn.

This way, she will stop doing such suicide dramas.

Else, if you have lost all your hope with her, then here is a suggestion.

Please get a very good smart phone and install a voice and call recorder in your phone.

Then record and create proof that your wife is threatening for suicide.

Then immediately go to the nearest police station along with a lawyer and file a complaint along with original audio proof.

While submitting the complaint, mention that, you can live with your wife, if she gives in legal writting that she will not threaten anymore.

If she does not comply to this, then attach the police complaint and send a divorce notice.


(Guest)

She does not appear to be Seethe/Sita!


What educated?


Nobody will call this behaviour acceptable.  


Your mistake was asking wife to join with you at your parents house.


since 3 years she was free bird, not under any kind of obligation, now she is put in a den, by you.


In den already one lioness is there, which is your mother, she ie your wife is another lioness, two lioness cannot live in one den.  Its as simple as that.


IT would be wise of you to go for separate accommodation along with wife and kid alone, or ask her to go and stay back with her parentage and you keep  visiting them as and when you can.  Like that you need not file divorce case, she will not file false criminal cases like dowry, DV etc, you will also not have to pay alimony to wife and kid.




You jump the gun and lose patience, you and your parents will have a tough time for the rest of your lives.  This no lawyer will tell you.  




My advice to you is, dont jump the gun.  Take wife to separate bone [cage], two lioness cannot live together, ie separate house.  You asking kid to be with you, its not toffee that you keep in your pocket.  Once you go legal, you will have to wait for kid to turn 7 so that court will ask kid whom it wants to go with, till then it will be with mother, at the most you can get child visitation rights.




If you doubt that wife might commit suicide, its better to go to your area police station and give a complaint about this without fail, if for joke sake or just for threatening you all if wife does something stupid, you will all go to jail, so prevention is better than cure, go give complaint to CI that your wife is always threatening to commit suicide.  I would also suggest to send a lawyers notice to that effect, asking her to mend her ways and not do anything stupid and continue leading happy marital life with you, even though she is at the moment living with you.  Do like this if you want to save you and your parents from falling into never ending legal trouble.  In PS, the will give NC number, make a note of it, also apply for certified copy of complaint, which will be very useful in the future. Make use of spy camera to record activities/conversations of wife.




If you cannot stand the sight of your wife, and want divorce ultimately, go for MCD, pay her hefty one shot alimony, forget the kid and be happy, you be free man in 6 months time.  If wife wishes to contest divorce, it get over in 7-8 years time.  Along with that complimentary gifts of NBW via 498a, DV, 125 crpc are there, those cases also take 10 years to get over.  You will grow old in court, your kid will grow in court.  Dont worry, you can also sue your wife in such a case, and she will have to do time in jail, a good 7 years if its proven that she lied under oath via those false dowry case, DV, maintenance cases and also pay fine.  \




Again, it was a idiotic step to move into parents house after living separately for over 3 years. Moresoever it was a big mistake you got married, these days live-in relationship is the trend, live together until you get fed up of each other and move on.  In that you got married, and also had se x with wife without condom, due to your idiocy, not only you will suffer, your parents will suffer, her parents will suffer, and also the kid will suffer.  Anyhow, choose what you want to do very carefully, the decision you take now will decide what your respective futures will be.  All the best.




Sriram (Assistant Manager)     30 October 2014

Hi,

Actually it was her decision to move to our parents home, as she is finding difficult to grow the kid alone. She kept saying I am alone and depressed with the responsibilities of baby sitting, that's why we moved to our parents home.


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