Here is my answer to each statement of -
finance executive
[ Scorecard : 21] Thank Contributor : 
Send PM
STATEMENT- "Why are you weighing a relation in terms of cruelty or mainteinence demand?"
REPLY-
Because, wife keep repeating her mistakes, what does that implies ? Let me tell you what is a mistake.
"Mistake is not a mistake until its repeated"
And if somebody keep repeating it, it means things are done intensionally. A husband lose his family as well as hard earned money due to maintanece, and because he gets nothing at end, he is being cheated by wrong laws made which are gender biased completely.
See problem comes into relationship when wifes are more attached to their parents, they feel happy if their relationship breaks, and they go back to their parents home with freely earned money, they getting - Kid + Money + Their Most Loved Parents, husband lose all of this in spite of keeping [investment] wife in best possible ways for years.
Why I wrote [investment] in bracket, because when somebody does something good, its a kind of investment for whcih he also deseves return , not now but at least in future.
STATEMENT- "a relation is based on trust and love if its not there then only fights happen why dont you try to understand her first then put all these allegations on her why would she abuse your family or will not consider your good things?only giving money or special amenities doesnt satisfy humans emotional needs,why dont you love her &dont give her all these flasshy things then see,she will be more than happy."
REPLY-
A relationship is based on trust I agree, but do you agree both parties must understand this and not only husband ? She does not communicate much to me, on daily basis in a 24 hour she has at most 8 statements to me, even if I try to speak she keeps ignoring. On daily basis she talks to her mother, brother, father, sister for 2 hours and involve with them only.
There is nothing to understand if she keep doing silly mistakes, says pinching statements, breaks normal hindu family traditions, Why she would abuse ??? She is programmed to abuse.
In last 8 years of marriage, neither my mother, nor my sister/ brother did or say anything bad to her, in fact there is very small communication. She never calls them , and if my mother or sister calls her, she dont pick phone. Dont you think she is programmed to hate in laws ???
I think you pointed correct problem here, I love her thats why she is getting all proper attention, flassh things, its not flasshy things first whcih makes me love her, its my respect and love which derives me to give flasshy things.
Problem these days is, wives are getting all required support easily but they dont regard support system, just nagging, blaming, doing silly things, saying pinching things.
And please All these things- LOve, respect, etc must be both sided.
Have u ever seen beggars having 3-4 children who live their life near road side ? Thats true her mother or father loves children, but that does not implies they giving their children good care, amenties, education, medicines etcetc .....so good things must always be appreceiated. Please dont take support system for granted.
In todays world specially to satisfy emotional needs, you must have money and amenties, Pls be realistic.
STATEMENT-Have you ever tried to love her unconditionally? Your post seems your love is so conditional. And why do you bring or worry about your parents so much? Why are you ignoring your wife or your family because of parents?
REPLY-
Above questions are for both parties Husband and Wife, My answer is yes. I think girls these days are more attratced towards glamour, money, etc...so think its not conditional.
My post seems conditional to you, because you never seems to face any bad conditions. There are many things whcih I compromised to earn good livings, and if that cannot be regared what u get at end, a feeling of cheating only. All good things dont come free, your statements reflect you are blue blooded and got most of the things in your life for free.
STATEMENT-"And why do you bring or worry about your parents so much? Why are you ignoring your wife or your family because of parents?"
REPLY-
I worry about them in a normal way and my involvement with them is 2 times per week, and my wife does it 4 times per day, so you can see who is more worried and involve, Wife try their best these days to prevent husbands to do good things to their parents.
STATEMENT-If she hates your family have you tried to know why?there must be lot of interference from them.
She hates my family because her mother hated her father family, so she is programmed to hate in laws. I live in Noida with wife and SOn only , there is no interference. Infact my mother has stopped coming , hardly comes in a year for 1 week or 10 days. She dont pick my mother or sister phone calls, and never calls them, RATHER she is OVER INVOLVED with her parents. as on daily basis she talks with mother, brother, sister, father. SO Interference is from Wifes family not husbands family.
STATEMENT- Only giving cars and maid and not love will not be able to keep her.
REPLY- WHAT makes life happy ? Roti + Kapda + Makaan , old saying right ? Reality is , this is not enough. Let me tell in detail what makes life happy
MONEY whcih brings 80% of thngs in your life - [Food + House + Education + Medicine + Good Clothes + Good Living Standard + Movies + Eating food at good restaurants + MObile + Electricity + RO Water + Gifts + +++++++++++++++++++++++]
REST 20% things are [Love + Respect + care + Understanding] are all mutual things.
Nobody can get 100% in life and become perfect but there has to be some threshhold % which gives satisfaction to human being.
So In above I am giving her 80% + (20/2) = 80 +10 =90% thigs. As wife she has also cerain responsibilities to give me back. I am not her father who can tolerate everything, I also need return whcih is Marriage contract.
STATEMENT- And physical fights are not mutual, the hand lifted by woman are for her safety.
REPLY- Above statement is completey wrong, hand lifted by women can be for killing also. Dont compare husbands with terrorist, compare them with care takers , fathers , if a father slaps her daughter, is their any law for this , is this DV ?
As I said , if yiu givig someone 90% things of life, you have some right over her, you desrve her respect and obedience.
STATEMENT- And why do you think only about yourself &your son?do you understand how miserable will be her life without a husband shes going to face more challenges than you raising her child all alone for whole life.
REPLY- Her parents and she hersely everytime says that even if it results in divorce they can take care of her. What does that mean ...if divorce happens...
She gets bonus - [ Maintenence + Kid + Lving with her beloved parents ], days are are gone when Socities were not accepting divorced women.
And I am not the man who will refrain from her responsibilities , I think I can take care of my son better than my wife.
STATEMENT - "And why do you think only about yourself &your son?do you understand how miserable will be her life without a husband shes going to face more challenges than you raising her child all alone for whole life.""
You talked about challenges huh, if there are real challenges for her survival, such wife wont ever fight with her husband who is giving every possible thing whcih a good husband should give. Problem is girls parents , and gender biased laws has created support system for wifes to prove their ego and nothing else. I can challenge, if a wife is there whose parents cant afford her and there is no law to support her, she will automatically be incliened to her husband.
I never want to leave my child on her, as I know she cannot give anything to her except filling him with hatred against husband.
For a good living, Love is not the only things which fulfill all your need, its just 10% of your life, what do u suggest?
STATEMENT- This is the reason why men stand culprit in court of law.
REPLY- In India as per data of courts - 78% of the case are falsely implicated by wives.
STATEMENT- No wife will leave a husband without a strong reason.
REPLY- ONLY REASON is when wifes fail to control their husbands, "UNGLI pe NACHANA" is the Strongest REASON. Because they try to control husbands and fail to do so. And use laws as weapon to prove their ego and nothing.
STATEMMENT- Shes not an idiot. And if she has left your house already its too late to love her now. Be ready for legal things. And if possible end it in a mutual way.
REPLY- She left my house in City, and went to hometown at her parents and then when son school started , sent me an SMS to send car to pick her up t come back to zcity again, What do you think now >? is she idiot ?? and she came back I am not afraid of any legal things I know- "Satya Mav Jayte"
Problem is I understand kid needs both father and mother, though husband and wife may not need each other. WHich is where the glitch is.
I only wants law to teach moral lesson to girls what is correct and what is wrong, problem is wife keep nagging, pinching, doing worng things and in last Law rewards them with gender biased laws, reverse dowry = maintenence.
If Similar to Mahila Aayog, there can be leagl Moral courts , whcih can tell wifes and force them to obey good husbands , families will survive for long.
Hope this clarifies you.
