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Sanjay (f)     21 July 2011

Require help

Hello evryone,

I require help to save my marriage life. I hereby briefly explain my problem;

I along with my wife and three children had been living in joint family along with my father, mother, younger brother at in Rohtak since from my marriage Sept2, 2004 .There was differences in our opinion in little -2 issues of daily life like living in joint family was not liked by my wife but I love to live in joint family, coming of guests in the house was not liked by my wife as my sister and other relatives used to come to see my parents particularly my mother and younger brother, (mentally challenged start from the birth).My wife did not like the guests coming to our house These little -2 issues sometimes became arguments between us. My wife is born and brought up in an environment that she believes after marriage husband and wife should live separate with mother and father and the same thing was supported by my father –in law and mother –in laws and all other relatives of my wife. The father and mother of my wife and other relatives of my wife used to come to our house whenever there is an argument between my wife and me and they used to instruct me that their daughter is always right and I am always wrong on every issue. They used to advice me and my father in direct or indirect way that living separate is a good option for me and my wife.

 

My wife being a Govt bank employee used to taunt me for my pvt job and believe she is much superior to me in every aspect. My wife has been an aggressive, high tempered and impulsive in nature start from her birth. From the day of marriage I avoided many times the little -2 arguments between me and my wife but she always escalated every argument to her parents and relatives and used to force me to live separate from my parents and brother who is a mentally challenged and not able to take care of him and dependent entirely on others. She always had an habit to go her parent house in Rohtak after having argument and not bothered to come back. Due to these tensions between my wife and me, my parents were unhappy and were in deep depression and going through the mental and emotional harassment which can’t be expressed in the words. Sometimes thoughts like life is not good for me came in my mind but anyhow I gathered the courage to face this tension and started living as I used to.

She always used to boast her parents, and uncle political links and good connections in Police.

My wife always used to talk about her legal rights and started threatening me and my father, sister that she will send them in jail in dowry allegations or under domestic violence allegations.   

Under these conditions one day she produced medical certificate showing that she is not well due to being physically assaulted by me. She filed a complaint in police against me, my father and sister. I was scared of any probable police action against me and my family members if the issue was not resolved amicably.

I requested my wife to come back in my life and my home. Now she agreed but on two conditions which were:

  1. She will not be living along with my father and younger mentally disabled brother.
  2. She will neither be going to any of my relative’s home nor will she be having any kind of relations with them and wants to live in a separate home..

I was under depression and not able to take the decision and wanted to resolve the issue anyhow, so agreed to her ungenuine conditions in that point of time and took a relieved sigh.

Being an elder son of the family, I have my obligations towards my father and brother to take care them which are not supported by my wife and her relatives. I understand my responsibilities towards my wife and children very well. I want to live in a joint family as I have been living start from my birth.

NOw presently my wife along with oue three kids is living separately and i and my familt had tried a lot to bring her back home but neither she nor her parents want her to live with us.

kindly help me how i can bring her home back and how constitution of india can help me in this regard. If any help can be recieved then to whom i should approach.....



Learning

 2 Replies

Sajeev Menon (Legal Consultant Dubai 00971 508836442)     21 July 2011

Hi Sanjay,

As i have gone through the entire statement you have submitted here and found that you have two alternatives, either to agree with you wife and live seperately with your 3 children or just stay at your home with father,mother and younger brother.

As per the facts narrated by you i dont belive that  you can take take your wife and kids at your home, stay together with ur parents happyly.

Better let her to stay away from you, when ever you wish to visit them you can stay with them otherwise if you bring her back there is every chance for a 498A and a jail term for you and family as she is so aggressive in her nature with the support of her parents.

or if you doesnt want to live seperately, go for a Divorce case to get it seperated legally other than to carry an unwanted risk. you can claim interim custody of your kids as decides the court.

As a person, i would like you to have some courage, guts and strength to handle your wife her parents and your family. Ultimately we are the person to mould the atmosphere as flexible to everyone to acheive the result. Your wife may have a feeling that you are not taking care of her and the kids. that is the main issue, i can see in this situation.

Wish you all the best.

 

 

 

Ravinder Kumar (Account Director)     21 July 2011

@Owner: You should work out a solution to save your marriage. 


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