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Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     14 December 2010

He sent me flowers today...

You , you , and  you, anyone know someone around you who had graduated from invisible to visible dimensions of domestic violence??? If yes, say something on this page....

your sister, your sister in law, your mother, your mother in law, your daughter, your daughter in law, your friend, the woman/girl  who stays next door...

It may not be flowers, it may be something else....it is just that in the name of love and  in the name of false sense of security, it has happened. It may not be literal death, it may be breaking of spirits through slow but sure doses of violence, subtle /gross. 

He sent me flowers today……..


We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel
things that
really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he
said, because
he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special
day. Last
night he threw me against a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like
a
nightmare, I could n’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning
sore and
brused all over. I know he must be sorry cause he sent me flowers
today.

I got flowers today, and it wasn’t Valentine's Day or any other special
day. Last
night, he beat me up again, it was much worse than all the other
times. If I
leave him, what will I do? How will i take care of my kids?

What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave. But i know
he must be
sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of
my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only i had
gathered
enough courage to leave him, i would not have gotten flowers
today…….



Learning

 11 Replies

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     14 December 2010

SO ROMANTIC!

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     14 December 2010

THERE IS A SONG IN BENGALI, “JIBANE JARE TUMI DAONI MALA, MARANE KENO TARE DUTE GELE PHUL” (IT IS BENGALI, WITHIN INVERTED). ENGLISH TRANSLATION IS:-

THOUGH YOU NEVER GARLANDED HIM, THROUGHT HIS LIFE; THEN WHY GAVE FLOWER AFTER DEATH?

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     14 December 2010

PLEASE READ 'DITE'  INSTEAD OF DUTE.


(Guest)

Flowers Mean;"I am sorry."

Chocolate means,"I love you."

 

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     14 December 2010

You seem to have lost its meaning....both Arup Ji and Kushan Ji. 

Does it convey romance???

Read it again...


(Guest)

@Renuka Gupta

Firstly i dont understand what are you telling about by writing this thread?

I dont understand what message you give to us.


(Guest)

i only know the language of love.

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist)     15 December 2010

It is very much heart touching portrayal of the suffering of women.

It is all about domestic violence meted out to female members of the society.

Just see the seriousness of the following lines,

 

 

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of
my funeral.

Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only i had
gathered
enough courage to leave him, i would not have gotten flowers
today……
.

 

 


1 Like

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     15 December 2010

 

Read the first para which goes before the poem, Kushan Ji. Subtle, very subtle menifestation which she ignores or hopes after hope that things would be fine after all. It then graduates to bruise and sores, and then she thinks to leave but her insecurities stop her from doing it , and then...the matter is closed by the dominance. As I said in the first para it may not be literal death, it may be death of the voice, it may be death of the mind and spirit.... 

And I am not giving any message... 

I am putting forth just some dimensions of Domestic Violence, a psychological journey where a woman deceives herself and does not want to accept it to be existing, even though the writing on the wall is very clear... Along with language of love, one needs to understand the language/action/gestures of violence too to nurture one's life in dignity and tell others that if I can do it, you , you , and you can do it too!

1 Like

(Guest)

Thanks Renukaji and sorry not to underrstand your message.

Now i can understand the real meaning.

I hate love stories and i hate domestic violence.

When i first read i feels that this story tells about violence and love but i dont want to urge violence so i said earlier posts.

Love is given for free from the beginning, but trust is earned over time. Know the difference!

 


The spiritual meaning of love is measured by what it can do. Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

 

This story also looks like the same just read it;

Love and violence in romeo and juliet

Romeo and Juliet, a play by William Shakespeare, is often referred to as the greatest love story of all time. It presents love and hate as equally potent forces of nature. The powerful nature of love can be seen in the way it is described, or more accurately, in the way descripttions consistently fail to capture it in its entirety. Juliet says of love, “But my true love is grown to such excessI cannot sum up half of my wealth” (3, I, 33-44)In other words, love is too powerful to be so easily contained or understood. This play portrays the chaos of being in love. However, the play also combines extreme images of violence and death. For instance, the Capulet and Montague families have held a long-time grudge against each other that is assumed to have existed for hundreds of years, and is the impetus of what strives to keep Romeo and Juliet away from each other. This paper seeks to examine what is achieved by the connections between love and violence. For clarity, I will be including death as a measure of violence, because death by violence is violence in its most potent form. Throughout the play, love seems to push the two lovers closer to violence, not further away from it. Love and violence are intertwined from th

This death they will always present an astounding image of young lovers, perfect in their love and their beauty. They become immortalized at the height of their passion, and their love becomes unbound and pure. Still, they are troubled by what outcomes lie await for them. Romeo finds himself in a very chaotic situation when he has murdered Tybalt, a cousin to the girl that he loves, in revenge for Tybalt slaying Mercutio, a friend of Romeo"tms. Their love is so profound, that they are willing to end their lives in its defence. A love so strong that to be without it, is to be dead. He finds himself in utter anguish, because his violent actions may plague his future with Juliet. Romeo has crashed the party hoping to see his beloved Rosaline, but catches a glimpse of Juliet instead, and falls instantly in love with her. "� (3, iii,70-71)Juliet also pulls a knife in order to take her own life, when she does not believe she has any other option other than death to get out of being married to Paris. Fetch me my rapier, boy,What dares the slave come hither,Covered with an antic face,To flee and scorn at our solemnity?Now, by the stock and honour of my kin,To strike him dead, I hold it not a sin. It could be assumed that they would age and grow less beautiful, have arguments, and even grow to hate each other, which dulls the image of an ultimate love. "Eyes, look your last!Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O youThe doors of breath, seal with a righteous kissA dateless bargain to engrossing death!Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!Thou desperate pilot, now at once run onThe dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark!Here's to my love!"

 

Info; https://www.megaessays.com/viewpaper/409.html

 

1 Like

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist)     15 December 2010

harsh Reality of the suffering is depicted in heart touching way. Thanks for RENUKAJI


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