Hi, I am 30 & my wife is 29. We have been married for 3 years. It was an arranged marriage. I met her thru one of our relatives near my hometown. I was working in Bangalore (I have stayed in metros most of my life) & she was staying with her parents in Madurai since her childhood. I and my parents went to see her & after 2-3 days of our 1st meeting, I agreed to marry her. She said yes to her parents for me immediately after seeing my matrimony that to even before meeting me face to face. We got engaged within a week's time. But the marriage got postponed for 4 months due to non-availability of right muhurat. Then I went back to Bangalore.
During this time, we started talking over the phone on a daily basis. But after a month or so post our engagement, I realised that she is quite different than what I had imagined she would be. Actually speaking, after sometime I started finding her v boring, non-confident & her thinking pattern was not up to my wave length if you know what I am talking about. She was not really my type & I started feeling awkward talking to her. I had informed my parents about it & even told her over the phone that I would not want to marry her & spoil both our lives. But she did not agree as she liked me a lot for I don’t know what reason. Even my parents started blackmailing me emotionally saying it will ruin their name in the society & they won’t live if I take such a hasty step. I tried v hard but couldn’t avoid this marriage as my parents are v weak & I was afraid that this may lead to some critical health/ mental issues. Even she didn’t tell her parents about it & kept quiet till the end.
I married her thinking things may workout if I give this marriage a chance. But I never felt any kind of attachment or attraction towards her ever since we got married. We never consummated our marriage though she was always ready for the same I never felt like doing it with her. Here, I would like to clarify that I am medically fit & not impotent. Now I am finding it very difficult to spend my life with her. I cannot stay like this for ever & I really want to move on. I have spoken to her on this a year back & ever since she has been fighting with me saying that she will never leave me. I tried so hard to convince her but she refuses to understand anything. I stopped talking to her since 7-8 months thinking it will change her mind. But it is not working out at all. I really want her to move on with her life as she is not going to get anything better from me. I have already informed my parents about my decision to get separated. But they are also taking her side & not understanding the consequences. They want me to continue living with her like this. We have no future together. I am just waiting for her sister to get married in the next months & then I will be informing her parents too about it. I don’t want to put them under depression as their 2nd daughter is getting married. I would not like to take a chance now as my act may spoil her arranged marriage too. I really don’t know if telling her parents will help as my wife is not ready to get separated from me at any cost.
Can anyone advise me how to get a divorce under such a difficult situation.