Need guidance marital issue

self employed

Need Guidance

Hi, Mahesh from Bangalore. Marriage took place in November 14. Issue is that, I stay with our parents. she always wanted independent life, she stayed with me for 3 months after marriage. Once pregnancy was confirmed, she left to her parents house. Almost from 3 yrs she is in her parents house.

While staying with me, she attempted suicide twice, before 3 yrs.

Now after convincing her, we brought her home again in November, but again attempted suicide by consuming sleeping pills. She wanted independent life(staying separate with my parents). But I was opposing this, bcoz I was elder son in my family. And need to look after them, as they are nearing 70 years. Even my parents didn't agree for staying far from them. She was angry on them also.

She started quarrelling for small things, when she came back in November. She came to our house on Thursday, on Sunday morning, she started shouting to all, when I told to be silent, she went out of home n started to call neighbours saying, we are beating her. After sometime, she ran outside saying, she will go to police n complain. We made her sit in home. After few minutes, she went to room to sleep. Evening we found that, she had taken sleeping pills n admitted to nearby hospital. While in hospital, she was telling her family members that, myself and my family should be in police station at any cost. She wanted to see we being locked up in the station. After speaking to her family members we sent her back to parents house from the hospital itself.

She and her family members told us that, she is suffering from Depression n did all bcoz of this, she's also taking treatment for this.

Now again her family members are pressuring to take her back to our house. But we are telling them that, we'll go legally and go according to what law says. As we are afraid that, when she comes again home, we'll be in danger, as she will find a way to put us in danger.

We had also asked for divoce, as nothing is going well between both of us. But everything is going in vain.

They are not ready to go court. They are telling us, that we'll sort this by talking. As many as, 6-8 times we have sat before for talking on this matter from the past 3yrs , involving elders from both the families. Everytime there will be a compromise on us, to take her back to home, But now, we are insisting to go legally, whereas they are insisting for talks.

Once again we took her back home after an assurance from her family members that, she'll be good. And also, we made her mother to stay with us for few days, so that she won't take any wrong steps. She stayed with us for a month, in this one month, she quarrelled for few petty issues. Bcoz of the presence of her mom, it didn't work out. She quarrelled with me n my family members, since we didn't want any issues in home, we kept quiet. Her mother also couldn't help in this, even she kept quiet.

She again went back to her native last week for festival. After going from here. She has again started complaining against us, saying we are not taking care. Her mother also, silent now. Her family members are saying that, we are responsible for all this. We don't know what to do now. From 6 months, Her brother calls me and threatens saying, he'll go to police and teach me a lesson. I told him, to do whatever is right according to him and I'll face the consequences, as I didn't do any mistakes.

In this 6 months, he has told me nearly 6 to 8 times that, he'll go to police. But finally, without going there, he has sent his sister again to our house. She's not obeying to anyone in our house, she's abusing our family members and shouts in a big tone. When told to be quite, she says that, she's like that itself. she can't change for ourselves. She's asking for household authority. So that, she'll lead the house. We told to be a good daughter in law to our house, so that everything will come in search of her, once she's good. But she's not listening, and tells she knows how to take it.

kindly guide on this.
 
Reply   
 
engineer

Mr.Mahesh,

   First thing to do is keep calm and record all the conversation,if possible video. most likely she will go to police and file all teh false cases on you and your family. but dont worry 

keep all the mediation records, record all teh coversation, phone, video ,whatsapp etc etc . they all will save you and your family one day.

 your eyes and ears must become recording devices.

Good luck

Vinay.


Total likes : 1 times

 
Reply   
 


self employed

Thanks vinay
 
Reply   
 

Originally posted by : Srinivasa Mahesh
Need GuidanceHi, Mahesh from Bangalore. Marriage took place in November 14. Issue is that, I stay with our parents. she always wanted independent life, she stayed with me for 3 months after marriage. Once pregnancy was confirmed, she left to her parents house. Almost from 3 yrs she is in her parents house.While staying with me, she attempted suicide twice, before 3 yrs.Now after convincing her, we brought her home again in November, but again attempted suicide by consuming sleeping pills. She wanted independent life(staying separate with my parents). But I was opposing this, bcoz I was elder son in my family. And need to look after them, as they are nearing 70 years. Even my parents didn't agree for staying far from them. She was angry on them also.She started quarrelling for small things, when she came back in November. She came to our house on Thursday, on Sunday morning, she started shouting to all, when I told to be silent, she went out of home n started to call neighbours saying, we are beating her. After sometime, she ran outside saying, she will go to police n complain. We made her sit in home. After few minutes, she went to room to sleep. Evening we found that, she had taken sleeping pills n admitted to nearby hospital. While in hospital, she was telling her family members that, myself and my family should be in police station at any cost. She wanted to see we being locked up in the station. After speaking to her family members we sent her back to parents house from the hospital itself.She and her family members told us that, she is suffering from Depression n did all bcoz of this, she's also taking treatment for this. Now again her family members are pressuring to take her back to our house. But we are telling them that, we'll go legally and go according to what law says. As we are afraid that, when she comes again home, we'll be in danger, as she will find a way to put us in danger.We had also asked for divoce, as nothing is going well between both of us. But everything is going in vain.They are not ready to go court. They are telling us, that we'll sort this by talking. As many as, 6-8 times we have sat before for talking on this matter from the past 3yrs , involving elders from both the families. Everytime there will be a compromise on us, to take her back to home, But now, we are insisting to go legally, whereas they are insisting for talks.Once again we took her back home after an assurance from her family members that, she'll be good. And also, we made her mother to stay with us for few days, so that she won't take any wrong steps. She stayed with us for a month, in this one month, she quarrelled for few petty issues. Bcoz of the presence of her mom, it didn't work out. She quarrelled with me n my family members, since we didn't want any issues in home, we kept quiet. Her mother also couldn't help in this, even she kept quiet. She again went back to her native last week for festival. After going from here. She has again started complaining against us, saying we are not taking care. Her mother also, silent now. Her family members are saying that, we are responsible for all this. We don't know what to do now. From 6 months, Her brother calls me and threatens saying, he'll go to police and teach me a lesson. I told him, to do whatever is right according to him and I'll face the consequences, as I didn't do any mistakes. In this 6 months, he has told me nearly 6 to 8 times that, he'll go to police. But finally, without going there, he has sent his sister again to our house. She's not obeying to anyone in our house, she's abusing our family members and shouts in a big tone. When told to be quite, she says that, she's like that itself. she can't change for ourselves. She's asking for household authority. So that, she'll lead the house. We told to be a good daughter in law to our house, so that everything will come in search of her, once she's good. But she's not listening, and tells she knows how to take it. kindly guide on this.

See first of all you did not ask any of us before marrying this nut.
Had you asked any of us by decribing how she is etc we would have told dont marry this girl. Marry some girl who will agree to bear your child, be a good daughter in law who says yes sir yes sir to your aged parents and also your siblings, then she should be good wife to you who can cook, sweep the floor and mop it without any complaints.

This type of girl suits you.  Sad to see that your wife is not like this.
Now you have two options.
You let her rule your house, you and your old parents and siblings etc dance to her tune.  All will be ok and fine.
or
Go stay with her parents or make an arrangement where you go visit her on weekends while she is living with her parents till her parents are alive. Dont complain or weep in front of your parents, dont pick quarell with her brother. Just do this much and all will be ok and fine.

or 

Take mutual divorce, pay hefty one time alimony for the mistake of not asking us before marrying this girl. and take mutual divorce.  Then find some good girl as I have described you who suits your taste and your parents taste and re-marry.


Total likes : 1 times

 
Reply   
 

Originally posted by : Srinivasa Mahesh
Need GuidanceHi, Mahesh from Bangalore. Marriage took place in November 14. Issue is that, I stay with our parents. she always wanted independent life, she stayed with me for 3 months after marriage. Once pregnancy was confirmed, she left to her parents house. Almost from 3 yrs she is in her parents house.While staying with me, she attempted suicide twice, before 3 yrs.Now after convincing her, we brought her home again in November, but again attempted suicide by consuming sleeping pills. She wanted independent life(staying separate with my parents). But I was opposing this, bcoz I was elder son in my family. And need to look after them, as they are nearing 70 years. Even my parents didn't agree for staying far from them. She was angry on them also.She started quarrelling for small things, when she came back in November. She came to our house on Thursday, on Sunday morning, she started shouting to all, when I told to be silent, she went out of home n started to call neighbours saying, we are beating her. After sometime, she ran outside saying, she will go to police n complain. We made her sit in home. After few minutes, she went to room to sleep. Evening we found that, she had taken sleeping pills n admitted to nearby hospital. While in hospital, she was telling her family members that, myself and my family should be in police station at any cost. She wanted to see we being locked up in the station. After speaking to her family members we sent her back to parents house from the hospital itself.She and her family members told us that, she is suffering from Depression n did all bcoz of this, she's also taking treatment for this. Now again her family members are pressuring to take her back to our house. But we are telling them that, we'll go legally and go according to what law says. As we are afraid that, when she comes again home, we'll be in danger, as she will find a way to put us in danger.We had also asked for divoce, as nothing is going well between both of us. But everything is going in vain.They are not ready to go court. They are telling us, that we'll sort this by talking. As many as, 6-8 times we have sat before for talking on this matter from the past 3yrs , involving elders from both the families. Everytime there will be a compromise on us, to take her back to home, But now, we are insisting to go legally, whereas they are insisting for talks.Once again we took her back home after an assurance from her family members that, she'll be good. And also, we made her mother to stay with us for few days, so that she won't take any wrong steps. She stayed with us for a month, in this one month, she quarrelled for few petty issues. Bcoz of the presence of her mom, it didn't work out. She quarrelled with me n my family members, since we didn't want any issues in home, we kept quiet. Her mother also couldn't help in this, even she kept quiet. She again went back to her native last week for festival. After going from here. She has again started complaining against us, saying we are not taking care. Her mother also, silent now. Her family members are saying that, we are responsible for all this. We don't know what to do now. From 6 months, Her brother calls me and threatens saying, he'll go to police and teach me a lesson. I told him, to do whatever is right according to him and I'll face the consequences, as I didn't do any mistakes. In this 6 months, he has told me nearly 6 to 8 times that, he'll go to police. But finally, without going there, he has sent his sister again to our house. She's not obeying to anyone in our house, she's abusing our family members and shouts in a big tone. When told to be quite, she says that, she's like that itself. she can't change for ourselves. She's asking for household authority. So that, she'll lead the house. We told to be a good daughter in law to our house, so that everything will come in search of her, once she's good. But she's not listening, and tells she knows how to take it. kindly guide on this.

See first of all you did not ask any of us before marrying this nut.
Had you asked any of us by decribing how she is etc we would have told dont marry this girl. Marry some girl who will agree to bear your child, be a good daughter in law who says yes sir yes sir to your aged parents and also your siblings, then she should be good wife to you who can cook, sweep the floor and mop it without any complaints.

This type of girl suits you.  Sad to see that your wife is not like this.
Now you have two options.
You let her rule your house, you and your old parents and siblings etc dance to her tune.  All will be ok and fine.
or
Go stay with her parents or make an arrangement where you go visit her on weekends while she is living with her parents till her parents are alive. Dont complain or weep in front of your parents, dont pick quarell with her brother. Just do this much and all will be ok and fine.

or 

Take mutual divorce, pay hefty one time alimony for the mistake of not asking us before marrying this girl. and take mutual divorce.  Then find some good girl as I have described you who suits your taste and your parents taste and re-marry.

 
Reply   
 

in this situation keep quiet and collect video, audio, photos any other evidence , these evidence will save you in future cases. if you file divorce, your wife will bombard with cases.
 
Reply   
 
LAWYER

It is really strange of way Martin  S. to  reply ,but actually he has given some soultion

 I think it is better to save the marraige, as per Martin S;

 Try to let fher live in her parants home but maintain her and vist her often, if she suffers from depression please help her to come out of it, we are humans and just marrying someone does not mean we get our choiced relation out of it. Sometimes we need to contribute in present  to have healthy future , be good to your wives .If you believe in moral duties and have faith in LORD  GOD then do take it as the deed which suerly shall be paid many folds.

Have some patience and look again in the matter check what could make the situation to be better. I Know i am lectruing but trust me really i feel your pain but we have to feel the same for everyone.

If you found the situation is not helping you in anyway then you have only option of Divorse, but for that you need strong evidance as also you have to weave a protective sheild against 498A ,and related aprehensions. 

Ensure you have enough records to prove your case .



 

 
Reply   
 
LAWYER

Originally posted by : Prasanna Advocate



Originally posted by : Bilal U Gani



It is really strange of way Martin  S. to  reply ,but actually he has given some soultion

 I think it is better to save the marraige, as per Martin S;

 Try to let fher live in her parants home but maintain her and vist her often, if she suffers from depression please help her to come out of it, we are humans and just marrying someone does not mean we get our choiced relation out of it. Sometimes we need to contribute in present  to have healthy future , be good to your wives .If you believe in moral duties and have faith in LORD  GOD then do take it as the deed which suerly shall be paid many folds.

Have some patience and look again in the matter check what could make the situation to be better. I Know i am lectruing but trust me really i feel your pain but we have to feel the same for everyone.

If you found the situation is not helping you in anyway then you have only option of Divorse, but for that you need strong evidance as also you have to weave a protective sheild against 498A ,and related aprehensions. 

Ensure you have enough records to prove your case .



 





I agree with the advice of Shri Martin.S. Advocate.  @ Shri Bilal, what do you think is job of advocate that you find Shri Martin.S. Advocate's reply strange?  Only pocketing money is it? By the way your reply looks you are just here to search for some client to suck blook by giving wrong advice.  This is Famliy Law section, you dont have the expereince required to reply in family matters.  I am reporting your ID to LCI admin.  Your replies lack human credibility.

Ha ha ...You know Mr. Martin you are just for fun.I don't need to get any clients ,what is my practise i don need to heartly express here,You attititude is unprofessional as i have more then hell like persons over in my professional life,i never give crape to it. For your information i am not staying right now in India so that i need clients i am doing my moral duty which you will come to know when you will mature professionally. 

Grow up.

 

 
Reply   
 

Originally posted by : Bilal U Gani



Originally posted by : Prasanna Advocate






Originally posted by : Bilal U Gani



It is really strange of way Martin  S. to  reply ,but actually he has given some soultion

 I think it is better to save the marraige, as per Martin S;

 Try to let fher live in her parants home but maintain her and vist her often, if she suffers from depression please help her to come out of it, we are humans and just marrying someone does not mean we get our choiced relation out of it. Sometimes we need to contribute in present  to have healthy future , be good to your wives .If you believe in moral duties and have faith in LORD  GOD then do take it as the deed which suerly shall be paid many folds.

Have some patience and look again in the matter check what could make the situation to be better. I Know i am lectruing but trust me really i feel your pain but we have to feel the same for everyone.

If you found the situation is not helping you in anyway then you have only option of Divorse, but for that you need strong evidance as also you have to weave a protective sheild against 498A ,and related aprehensions. 

Ensure you have enough records to prove your case .



 





I agree with the advice of Shri Martin.S. Advocate.  @ Shri Bilal, what do you think is job of advocate that you find Shri Martin.S. Advocate's reply strange?  Only pocketing money is it? By the way your reply looks you are just here to search for some client to suck blook by giving wrong advice.  This is Famliy Law section, you dont have the expereince required to reply in family matters.  I am reporting your ID to LCI admin.  Your replies lack human credibility.





Ha ha ...You know Mr. Martin you are just for fun.I don't need to get any clients ,what is my practise i don need to heartly express here,You attititude is unprofessional as i have more then hell like persons over in my professional life,i never give crape to it. For your information i am not staying right now in India so that i need clients i am doing my moral duty which you will come to know when you will mature professionally. 

Grow up.

 

All okay with you?  Are you alright? Who are you talking to and what bothers you to take my name? 

 
Reply   
 

LEAVE A REPLY


    

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register  



 

Search Forum:








×

  LAWyersclubindia Menu