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Zeeshan   26 May 2019

Mother spoiling general peace of household

Background: We are a small Indian Muslim family comprising of myself, my wife and my widowed mother. I natively belong to Bareilly (UP) and am working at Pune (MH) for past two years. Six months back, I got married to someone I love, and she and her family natively belongs to MH. The marriage took place in MH and we are all living in MH now for the time being. At my native place we have our own house which is in my mother's name. At Pune, I have rented a flat. My mother keeps visiting us at Pune and lives with us for a month or so.

Details: My mother never liked my wife but somehow agreed to our marriage. After a month of the marriage my mother started harassing my wife by passing derogatory comments on her physical appearance, her day to day way of life, manners etc. My mother also engaged in a verbal fight with my in-laws (I have call recordings, this took place on a mobile phone call) over my wife's behavior (which is decent and respectful as per my observation), because she wants my wife to live a life exactly how my mother has designed for her. This includes but not limited to: clothing, time of waking up and sleeping, cooking, time of going and coming from work, time spent on phone, sleeping hours, rest and what not. In short my mother wants my wife to be a slave of her whim. All these restrictions are for my wife while nothing of such sort applies to me as per my mother's behaviour.

I proposed filing a suit for domestic violence against my mother but my wife and in-laws denied it out of goodwill. Just to give a suitable example, one day my wife politely requested my mother to guide her on a certain recipe she was cooking so my mother went to the kitchen and assisted her. Next day it was Sunday so she was resting most of the day. In the evening I was assisting my wife in the kitchen with the chores when my mother stormed in and said that a man is not meant to do household work. She has brought the bahu to do house work no to keep resting whole day. This was very insulting to us and I was left stunned.

As a peaceful resolution, me, my wife and my in-laws have decided to keep my wife separate from my mother for the time being. My sister in law lives in the same city so my wife is planning to shift with her. Overall, me and my wife are living in a very tensed state of mind. She is unable to sleep properly and keeps crying late in the night when I am sleeping. It has seriously affected her health. She is not able to eat properly due to extreme mental stress. She has once fainted at her workplace as well and needed medical attention.

Now where do I stand from a legal point of view? Just to clarify that my in-laws and wife have no complaint whatsoever with me and I have very amicable terms with them. Its just my mother who has spoiled the general peace of the family.

Is there any way I can legally "disown" my mother, not being responsible for any of her misdeeds and forcing her to go and live in her own house at our native place? In one of her fights with my in-laws, my mother even said that I have no rights on my ancestral property since the house is in her name. So yes, morally she disowned me already. I am transferring Rs. 5000 monthly to her account for household expenses plus paying all the bills of the native house like Electricity, DTH etc. over and above it.

It may sound I am telling a one sided story and have hate for my mother, but yes there are reasons for such outlook and it will be a very long story if I keep writing here everything.

P.S. I am superficially aware of Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act but my mother is not yet of age 60 (58 as of now), she has a huge house in her name (market value would be in 8-digits), and decent bank deposits and gold. Please advise what should I do now. All means of peaceful talks have failed.



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