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trishi (manager)     11 December 2013

Mental harassment & demand of additional dowry

I just got married on 30-10-2013. But, unfortunately, my husband and in-laws have harassed me mentally  up to the extreme and is demanding additional dowry in the form of my salary and savings along with saying that my personal maintenance expenditure will not be borne by them or shall be of the cost they want giving fixed 5000/- monthly.

They disgraced every effort, done by my family, for marriage, including the insult of the material given as shagun for the marriage. Moreover, they have put every material into a separate empty house of theirs, which they wish to rent upon. Moreover, they have insulted my parents and relatives. Also, my husband has not yet accepted me physically too. He demands from me to look like models and make myself sensuous, only then he will be attracted towards me. He says me to look at every other girl's figure and become like her. He says that we have given them 3rd grade material including jewellery. But they have done everything A-1,  A-class. He says me that he will leave me if any time in life, i resign from job.He is a liar too. His parents have now also put blame on my character. He insults me in everything in one or the other way. He don't respect anybody but wants to be given the treatment of a son-in-law and for his family, of any older century. He married not to a girl but to money and job of mine. He is completely orthodox and needs a presentable wife to his friends and people. 

Also, he didn't took me anywhere for honeymoon. Not even around his residence city. He says not to share any views or problems with him, his family or my family. He puts restrictions on everything. All these have made me feel unsafe that how they will keep me, and they will not give me anything of my choice and even after being at respectable position  of job in society they want me to beg in front of them for everything which is unsure that they will provide. They are living a life of standard much lower than ours but insults everything of ours. If he is not intrested in me and my wishes and health and my basic human needs oflove care and respect but he needs me to serve his family as a household worker  and give all my salary to them and do everything the way they want by killing myself completely,

I cannot do this when my husband does not have any feelings as a person for his wife, at this stage of life, when every couple enjoys life, he needs the audit of my salary account, my job, me to work at home, eat after everybody else has eaten food, keep me head covered even with wet hair , that too at a chilling place like shimla, no medicines for my health,all this is unacceptable for me to sacrifice myself for those who just need my salaryand want me to be their servant.



Learning

 8 Replies


(Guest)

Then simply divorce him, what are you doing here? go ahead and take divorce, who is stopping you? Hope my assessment is wrong, but you look like a girl who will find fault with everything. Its 42 days...god knows what you are upto...

 

anyway the best thing is to take divorce and move on...You dont have patience and this marriage wont work for you.


(Guest)

One thing that was strange for me, you don't want to share a mere 5k of your salary but you expect your husband to borne your personal expenditure. May be thats what you call equality in your terms.

trishi (manager)     11 December 2013

@stalker : salary is 7 times of it. I hv written that i will be given 5000/- out of it only, by them . Rest of it they will keep with them .

(Guest)

@trishi


I am not offensive, that's my way of probing details. Why I should be offensive on you? its your life afterall...all I can do is push some thought to you so that you are not driven by emotions. Simple its 47days...its too small to call it quits. You are educated, gutsy woman, see if you can make things work...Instead of saying they said that, they did that, they want that...you can do something..right!!!

 

what is that you are looking for legally?

vishak (manager)     12 December 2013

"They are living a life of standard much lower than ours but insults everything of ours"

I guess it is not love marriage and u should have matched standard of living before hand. A very traditional family u have been married with.

Northern Queen (Manager)     13 December 2013

Another 498a troll in the making!

 

shaan (Student)     14 December 2013

Wow..all 498A girls think in same way! They don't want to share their salaries with their own family(husband's side) but expect that husband should keep them as queens and keep on spending. I wonder if Narayan Murthy's wife would have thought in the similar fashion we won't be able to see an Infosys today. It is his wife who literally supported him in the initial few years of Infosys when he was not working. And here we have this breed of ladies who want to keep their salaries with them, taunt husband for not giving them 5000 Rs. or money for their facial..These ladies never "trust" on their husbands, and hence going forward the husband's family would also start mistrusting these ladies as they would get fed up of "playing safe" mode of 498A girls! God help India..I need AAP to amend this 498A law and get Mental Health Act have a provision to compulsorily get such ladies AND their families counselled by reputed psychologists/psychiatrists!!

Raj (DGM)     22 December 2013

I would like to request all members to kindly help all the suffers from these ladies who are becoming male on the basis of 498A. if any body has any idea about logical fight/forum against 498A,please inform me too,coz I m also living as slave becoz of this section. regards raj

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