Mental harassment by in laws


I am 41 years old female, married for 13 years. I used to like my husband before marriage and we married under the consent of our parents. My in-laws house and my mother's house is close by. From the very beginning of my marriage, my mother-in-law has tortured me verbally, got the entire family against me, use to fault find etc. MY husband used to play diplomatically and never actually resolved any issues. My father-in-law and Husband"s sister are completely on mother-in-law side.

5 years back my sister-in-law got married to a Christian (we are Hindus) and despite having a separate house, she and her husband are living with my in-laws (Reason: they got a daughter who is looked after by in-laws and they both go to work). I am a strict vegetarian (in fact now turned vegan). They started bringing non-veg and cooking non-veg in the house, I protested and was asked to leave the house. My husband and I, later on, moved to separate rental premises and lived there for 2 years.

After 12 years of marriage, I got pregnant and had left the job to look after the baby, my husband financially being weak went back to his parent's house. I had no choice but to live in my parents house. Today, my child is almost one year and there is still no sign of my in-laws budging from their position. My sister-in-law and her husband continue to stay with my in-laws. My husband is also staying with them.

Even if anyone advises me to go back and stay with them, I want to state that there is no intention of theirs to let me stay there. There will be blame games by the mother in law and sister in law and will mentally harass me. I am not able to eat or drink in the house because of non-veg.

I am not interested in saving my marriage anymore cause of my husband behaviour of shoving of the responsibility. How should I protect my son rights? 

 

 

 

 

 
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Bangalore

Originally posted by : A T
I am 41 years old female, married for 13 years. I used to like my husband before marriage and we married under the consent of our parents. My in-laws house and my mother's house is close by. From the very beginning of my marriage, my mother-in-law has tortured me verbally, got the entire family against me, use to fault find etc. MY husband used to play diplomatically and never actually resolved any issues. My father-in-law and Husband"s sister are completely on mother-in-law side.

5 years back my sister-in-law got married to a Christian (we are Hindus) and despite having a separate house, she and her husband are living with my in-laws (Reason: they got a daughter who is looked after by in-laws and they both go to work). I am a strict vegetarian (in fact now turned vegan). They started bringing non-veg and cooking non-veg in the house, I protested and was asked to leave the house. My husband and I, later on, moved to separate rental premises and lived there for 2 years.

After 12 years of marriage, I got pregnant and had left the job to look after the baby, my husband financially being weak went back to his parent's house. I had no choice but to live in my parents house. Today, my child is almost one year and there is still no sign of my in-laws budging from their position. My sister-in-law and her husband continue to stay with my in-laws. My husband is also staying with them.

Even if anyone advises me to go back and stay with them, I want to state that there is no intention of theirs to let me stay there. There will be blame games by the mother in law and sister in law and will mentally harass me. I am not able to eat or drink in the house because of non-veg.

I am not interested in saving my marriage anymore cause of my husband behaviour of shoving of the responsibility. How should I protect my son rights? 

 

 

 

 

Sister,

all these are normal in married life, your parents and all parents have gone through this at some point or other, thats the reason why we are alive today and still have parents.  Please understand this point.  If our parents had acted like you, we would be living lives withoiut parents.

 

This is usually what every second women does.  Wait till get pregnant and then state the above story just like you did and say its enough, I dont want to take it anymore, I cant, I want divorce.

For that why do you even need advise?   Just contact some advocate locally who will file divorce petition on your behalf.

Rest questions you can clarify there itself.

Helping Hand refrains from giving you any sort of advise, as what you require is not advise but one tight slap from your father.  WIth kid in hand you got guts to stay away and apply for divorce at age of 41? Shame on people like you.  It is people like you who have degraded the institution of marriage.  Have you ever heard the word adjustment?  That needs to be the foundation of marriage.  Another child will be fatherless, or have to found some other set up already?  Anyway I refrain myself from advising you anything.  Shame on women like you who give up easily on marriage.  Rot in hell for it is here only, both heaven and hell.

Please click on like button below or on my profile page.

 

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/profile.asp?member_id=84464


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What rights do you want to protect? You want him to get ancestral property? It doesn't seem there is much to begin with and lot of others in that family waiting to fight for its pieces. Your son will be better off if he studies hard and makes a good career for himself, chasing some scraps of ancestral property is stupid way to protect future of your 1 year old son. What else you want? You have decided to end marriage. Fastest way is to get mutual divorce. All other ways take 10 years and involve throwing good money in hands of lawyers for nothing. 


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You are saying "I am not interested in saving my marriage anymore cause of my husband behaviour of shoving of the responsibility. " do you think you are responsible person? When your child need both parents he get only mother. What a responsible mother you are because of silly reason you want divorce , without think your baby future after divorce? as you say "I am not able to eat or drink in the house because of non-veg." , it's only game of mind. Once you accept situation every thing will fine.Sister you have three option in life 1) for sake of your baby future you should try to accept your husband family. Go back to your husband. It's normal wear tear of married life. Live happily. 2) take MCD . focus on your child future. Dnt file any case.3) go to lawyer . file as many cases he suggest. Spoil your own baby life with your own hands. Waste a decade in court and several money on lawyers with zero result. Court will give nothing accept dates. Life is your decision is your. First option of going back can save your child future.
 
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legal advisor

Excellent advice given by all the above experts.i too agree with you all
 
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The best advice given herein is by 'autohide4u' as you have given the advice without being judgemental. 

I appreciate 'A walk alone' advice only if I had to weigh the other marital issues except for NON-VEG', which is a BIG issue for me and it should be a BIG issue for others too. Animals also love their life as much as we humans do. Please watch movie Earthlings (available on YouTube) and it will answer the question. Also, my decision is not based on food alone.

 
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First watch video on YouTube showing how to make goat curry. Then make goat curry. Then get together with friends to enjoy the goat curry and watch Earthlings video while laughing over non veg jokes.

 
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Bangalore

Originally posted by : A T
The best advice given herein is by 'autohide4u' as you have given the advice without being judgemental. 

I appreciate 'A walk alone' advice only if I had to weigh the other marital issues except for NON-VEG', which is a BIG issue for me and it should be a BIG issue for others too. Animals also love their life as much as we humans do. Please watch movie Earthlings (available on YouTube) and it will answer the question. Also, my decision is not based on food alone.

Image result for tumhara dimag kharab hai

I am more worried about your kid than you !  For your gods sake dont apply for divorce.

 
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My wife uses plastic bags all the time. I have explained to her the negative impact these bags have on environment, I have also shown her YouTube videos about the same. She just refuses to listen and keeps using more and more plastic bags. This is cruelty to me and all of planet earth. Now I want divorce from her. Please give me advice.

 
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