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(Guest)

Husband wants to end marriage i dont

I was married to an NRI last july. The family was involved in arranging the marriage. My husband who is 45 years old lives in the USA. After we got married he filed for a spouse visa for me which has yet not arrived. We lived together in my inlaws house after marriage for 3-4 days and went out for a week.We consumated our marriage on our honeymoon but he denies everything now.Everything was very well till Dec 16. There were regular calls from him and everything was smooth. All this while i was living with my inlaws. My husband had told me that the visa would arrive in 3 months and we would be togther again. We didnt face any problems with each other while he was here and got along pretty well.

In Dec we had our first fight and he said that he dosent think tht we can get along and hence we should end our marriage. I convinced him that he was feeling like that since we were not living together. All was ok till March 30 and again we had a fight when he mentioned the same.Since then he has just been asking for a divorse giving different reason each time.Sometimes he says I am not beautiful enough,then he says he didnt see me properly before getting married or i am not fair enough. We had met a couple of times before our marriage had spent hours together.I was also asked to meet his cousin and his wife where all three of us spent atleast 5 hours just getting to know each other and they gave a positive feedback about me to him. I have tried convining him and told him that unless we live togther we cant really know how well we can get along or not. Infact you cant really know a person unless you live with them so we should stay togther atleast for 6 months before we make a final decision.Meanwhile the visa process reached a 2nd phase where he had to submit documents again and pay fees after which the visa would be issued in a month. I have sent all the required documents but had has been making excuses and not going ahead with the process.At this point my parents got involved and asked him if there was any issue and he mentioned the same but said that he will go ahead with the visa and live together for 6 months. 

My mother in law has been a widow for last 15 years and contols all the strings of the house.Everything in the house runs according to her. She infact decides what clothes , earrings, my nail polish color  etc i will wear and you dont listen to her she instigates my husband by making stories and telling lies. Any poistive thing done by me for the house is not told to husband. My mil had told me a number of times to get my parents car and keep it at my inlaws place so that they could use it. She had also asked me to get all my jewellery and leave it with her but  I have kept it in my bank.When we got married even if i got a call from my husband her face would change.My husband keeps saying negative things about me and keeps accussing me although we have never really lived togther.My husband dosent try to verify the truth and just believes my mil blindly. All he keeps saying is he wants to end this. 

When spoken to his relatives they say he is a nice guy and are suprised by his behaviour. My mother in law has spread lies about me to her closed family members.I feel that they are taking steps as he is planning to come down for a few days.My mother law these days keeps telling me not to stay in my inlaws place and that I should go and stay with my parents.

My brother in law was once married and the same thing happened in the family.His love marriage ended in a divorse.My mil keeps telling me that my bil wife had stopped talking to her etc and things like that.

I want to save my marriage. My husband has been a very good man and a caring huband until these problems started.



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 4 Replies

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     07 June 2017

Your husband is in USA and you are in India. Your mother-in-law spoils his mind. Your husband is a good man. He is too good a person. That exactly is the problem. He will listen only to his mother. I am afraid things are not that cheerful.


(Guest)

Thank you for that but I was actually looking to know what steps legally I can take to save my marriage.

Any specific things i need to take care of. I was told by close relatives that she cant ask me to leave my marital home and as a wife you can live in your husbands home no matter what.

Based on what option can he file for a divorce. Can a lame excuse as I didnt see her properly be taken seriously? 

Since we have lived with each other only for around 10 days would we be given a change to live to togther for some months to a year before a decision is made. .

 

 

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     08 June 2017

You are geographically separated and there is no way that you can get together.  The US will not give you visa unless he moves. He will not come back to India for good. With such practical problems there appears to be no way to save your marriage.

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     08 June 2017

He need not have to give any reason for a divorce.  You are geographically separated and there is no way that you can join him in USA unless he wants.  It is as bad as divorce or even worse. Even if he marries someone else in USA, you will not know. Legally you can force yourself into the matrimonial home or ask your husband to give you alternative accommodation. But again how can you legally force a person in USA?. It may be possible to use 498A, DVD etc to harass your mother-in-law. But those things will take you further away from a solution only.


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