sustaining my marital life
shashank vajjula
(Querist) 21 October 2016
This query is : Resolved
Hello,
My name is Shashank vajjula. I'm from Hyderabad. Me and my wife got married in arya samaj. My wife was pursuing her MS in usa. She didn't inform her parents and came to India to marry. We got married and the next day her parents came to know about our marriage. They came to meet us at the hotel where we were residing. They were shocked and depressed by our marriage but didn't separate us. My wife was with me for a week and she had to return back to usa because of her examination. Everything was good between me and wife. After a month we had a quarrel and she informed the same to her parents. Her parents took advantage of it and emotionally blackmailed her and made her stop talking to me. I now don't have any option to contact her. My in laws say that she doesn't want to stay with me and they want a mutual divorce, which I didn't agree.. After a discussion between my family and my in less , they asked me to stop talking to for some time so that she would change her mind. It's been six months still I didn't talk her. It was a gimmick played by my in laws. They were behaving as an oxymoron. I have had many conversations with my in laws apologizing for the quarrel which I had with my wife, but they just being prejudice. What can I do now legally. My whole Intension Is to sustain my marriage. I would request the experts to suggest me on how to proceed. Thanks in advance.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 21 October 2016
Well, the marriage can not survive if one of the spouses is adamant not to continue with it.
However there is ni harm if one can take effort to revive it.
So talk to your wife in person and convince her to so.
If she does not agree then you may consider filing suit for restitution of conjugal rights.
Else part ways amicably.
shashank vajjula
(Querist) 21 October 2016
Thanks you so much for quick response. I'm pretty much sure, if my wife talks to me i can convince her, because such quarrels did happen earlier too before we got married. The problem here is my in laws are blackmailing her emotionally and are not allowing me to talk to her. And the biggest problem is that she is not in India. I don't have any option to contact her bcoz she blocked in every possible way as per the instructions of her parents. When ever I ask my in laws to make her talk to me, they say they don't have any answer for that.
shashank vajjula
(Querist) 21 October 2016
My lawyer has asked me to file a case for restitution of conjugal rights. He also said that there would a notice sent to her college and also to her parents. I stopped myself doing it bcoz o don't want to spoil her career and also trouble her parents. I have conveyed the same to my inlaws... But it seems like I only have this one option. Could experts help me with on what basis can I file a suit for restitution of conjugal rights ?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 21 October 2016
Meet a lawyer. he will draft a RCR petition.
It is a legal right which does not need any basis except willingness to stay with he spouse who may have left the other without any reasonable excuse.
Ms.Usha Kapoor
(Expert) 22 October 2016
File RCR petitioning in family court. Let us wait and watch.
Advocate M.Bhadra
(Expert) 22 October 2016
Try to personal efforts and contact with your wife and request her to return back, failing which you should agree to file a divorce suit on mutual consent.
Filing of a suit for Restitution of Conjugal Right(RCR)is just to waste of money and time, as because execution of RCR Decree is very difficult in fact. However if she would stay in USA and in her absence the suit may be decreed ex-parte and you would just obtain a decree not more.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 22 October 2016
Be practical and follow the expert advise of Mr. M Bhadra, I agree.
Filing RCR is wastage of time, efforts and money.
Visit your wife, discuss and sort out the problem personally. It is not a big issue, such trivial things do occur in life, tell her to join and enjoy married life; requesting in-laws to calm down for subsistence of marriage.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 22 October 2016
If RCR decree is not complied with within one year you will easily get a divorce. it is an additional advantage.
Guest
(Expert) 22 October 2016
Mr. Shashank Vajjula,
Rely on your own lawyer.
But, your story become quite unbelievable, if with just a single event of quarrel you have reached such a state of your marital life, as you stated, "after a month we had a quarrel and she informed the same to her parents!"
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 22 October 2016
Avoid filing RCR for further 6 months and try to save marriage.
You may be having contact details of any of her friend in USA, can search internet to find her details, if available. Try to contact her and convenience her to save your marriage.
Any of her local friend can get her contact no. from her parents.
shashank vajjula
(Querist) 22 October 2016
Hello everyone,
I appreciate all of you for taking your precious time and responding to my issue. I completely have taken everything into consideration. I would like to let everyone here know that i have no intensions to file any case or get into legal issues. My only concern is that I just a happy married life. I m totally against divorce and I'm ready to take each n every responsibility of my wife and her parents too ... It's just they r not understanding what exactly are my intensions. They are being hypocrite and are emotionally blackmailing her . Therefore I just consulted the experts to suggest a way where I can get my wife back. And to be honest about what exactly happened, I had a quarrel with my wife and she informed the same to her parents. My father in law called me and was complaining about the same and while having the conversation, he accused me saying that I'm behaving like a slum guy. At that point of time, it hurt my ego and I had to post our marriage pic in facebook. Just because I have posted my marriage pic in facebook and others came to know about our marriage, now they r taking revenge by emotionally blackmailing her and not allowing or giving me an option to talk to her. I have contacted my inlaws many times to convince them. After reading all of your suggestions I feel that I have to take it in a way to convince her parents and get my wife back. I still wonder why such absurd situation as occurred in my life , where a guy is willing to live life long with his wife, but still into such situation. Thank each n everyone for taking time to give me your valuable suggestions.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
You said
"My lawyer has asked me to file a case for restitution of conjugal rights. He also said that there would a notice sent to her college and also to her parents. I stopped myself doing it bcoz o don't want to spoil her career and also trouble her parents. "
The lawyer seems not to be understanding that RCR is a nearly a guaranteed tool for compelling a wife to file true/false complaint of domestic violence and dowry demand.
(Be enlightened that Definition of domestic violence is very elaborate in DV Act and it covers torture by unwanted telephonic contact)
So by filing RCR you are you are averting guaranteed criminal case against you and your parents and forgoing a jail ticket.
So you are not saving her career rather saving your career.
so you are not averting trouble to her parents rather averting trouble to your parents.
It is also not understood as to on what basis your lawyer said that notices will be sent to her parents as well and her employer also.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
"My only concern is that I just a happy married life."
which can be remotely possible (not guaranteed) only if you go and meet her in USA.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
"I m totally against divorce"
BUT OTHER PARTY WANTS. YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO SPOIL BOTH LIVES AND DEPRIVE HAPLY LIVING TO BOTH.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
"I'm ready to take each n every responsibility of my wife and her parents too ..."
GIVEN FACTS INDICATE THAT SHE DOE SNOT WANTS OT BE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ANY MORE.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
" It's just they r not understanding what exactly are my intensions. "
YOU CANNOT COMPEL THEM TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT. THEY ARE FREE TO HAVE THEIR OWN IQ.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
"They are being hypocrite and are emotionally blackmailing her ."
ABSOLUTELY VAGUE TERM.
IN INDIA THE PARENTS OF GIRLS ARE ALWAYS TO BLAME.
AFTER ALL THEY HAVE DELIVERED A FEMALE CHILD WHICH NO SMALL OFFENCE (unpardonable) IN INDIA
FURTHER THEIR DAUGHTER MARRIED ON HER OWN AT WRONG PLACE.
THEREFORE TIGHT LAWS AGAINST HUSBANDS.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
"After reading all of your suggestions I feel that I have to take it in a way to convince her parents and get my wife back. "
TRY CONVINCING THEM IF YOU CAN.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
"I still wonder why such absurd situation as occurred in my life , where a guy is willing to live life long with his wife, but still into such situation. "
YOU WORKED HARD FOR THIS SITUATION.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
You can go to USA if you feel that she will be convinced after meeting you.
But if she is not convinced then US Police will also not be convinced and letting you go. (jails in US perhaps have harsher life than in India)
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
Once framed in criminal case in India then you will beg for divorce and she will not agree.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 23 October 2016
Prima facie (as admitted by author) there is no legal issue involved in the query to be advised by the experts on this platform.
Conversely the author seems to behave like an examiner for the experts, which I cannot take the examination, therefore the post is closed from my side and I shall avoid to reply such non-sense question (not query).
It is abuse of process of this site for which the admin is requested to take necessary step.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 23 October 2016
It is his choice as to how much time he has to take and how much money he has to spend and how much suffering he has to under go
just
to be convinced that 2+2=4
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 23 October 2016
Agree with the advice from expert Sudhir Kumar in the given situation.
