Wife playing with life -
Ajay
(Querist) 21 November 2014
This query is : Resolved
Dear Learned Friends,
Please Advice me what to do in the current situation :-
Marriage Duration - 3.5 Years
My wife I asking for Divorce from last one year and now When I am ready to give her divorce under mutual consent, she is denying that she will not give divorce nor she come to my home at my terms.
I got married in August 2011, After that she get pregnant in December 2011 and unfortunately miscarriage happened in Feb 2012, For which her mother blamed that happened due to my negligency.
After that she get infections and detected TB, which I treated for One Year from the top doctors available, She is very fighty nature had fight wid me, neighbours, my parents all time,Dont want to do household jobs,She sharing everything little thing with her mother over the phone, they talk for hours over phone about little little things of my house, Her mother guide her how to tackle the issues. She always want to stay at her parents home. As we are in the same city about 90 min distance to travel, she goes for 2 days & stay there for the week, on asking she fight. Not respecting my parents and willing to stay separate, As I am the only son I cant leave my parents & I love them much. She like freedom, We always watch movies every sunday have dinner at restaurant weekends,Had many outer trips too in 3 years. Always she force me to go Disco, Have Drinks with her friends & couples, which I dont Like. She also force me to go outside trip wid her friends but I denied, One day in Dec 2011 she told she is going to her parents house but she went to her friends home and drunk there with her husband, later I come to know about this by her SMS chat, which I opposed and called her parents to my home about this incident but they have taken it very lightly.
We also have verbal fights with little little issues, In the mean while in July 2013 I got detected with High Diabetes & High BP in the age of 29 Yrs due to depression & tension, I am totally harrased by her behaviour and don't want her back in my life.
In August 2013 after verbal fight she left home along with her jewellery with her mother saying tht she want divorce, her mother demanded alimony too. After family talk & compromise they left her in my home in September 2013, As her sister marriage was in November 2013. I treated her again for her Tubual Blockage & she went wid a operation.
Now she forced me that she want to do Job as she getting bored at home, I opposed for the same. As Her education is low and I dont want tht my wife do job as my parents are old and I just want you a house wife. She blackmailed me If I wont allow her to do job is would left my home and stay at her parents home, Atlast I have to fulfill her this demand too... He got a job with 10000/- salary Job timing 10.30AM to 8.00PM (Travel Timing - 1.30 Hrs one way), She go at 9.00AM & come at 10.00 Pm daily. Her parents also support her in this.
Atlast we had the verbal fight & she left come again in August 2014 finally, and wanted divorce and alimony, we have called her parents for talk, after the discussion no result, She wanted Divorce, But her father saying that he will not give divorce for 1 Year, as one year separation required.
Till Diwali Day we waited for thier Call, But they wont even called nor send her back.
So I called her said her about her future planning, If she want Divorce I am ready to give let us file it by mutual consent.
She DENIED TOTALLY..... She said nor she give divorce nor she live together.
I am totally trapped and cant think wat Can I do.
I had loved her badly. Her father said She can live without you but you can't.
Other Info - She proposed me too marry her, as she is alone(I have all proof of chats wid her), I had accepted a widow, 2 year elder then me. Her Ex-Husband died in a road accident after 1.5 yrs of her previous marriage which was also love marriage with a rich guy, She did court marriage in June 2006 & her Ex Husband died in Dec 2008,(they had lived separately after marriage). She had no brother, He parents have 4 daughters. Family background- Middle Class. We met in October 2010 through a family friend.
Now my life is just stucked. Plz guide me what to do.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 22 November 2014
Martial discord is quite common place in every family and one has to reach to it as per peculiar circumstances and urgency in the situation.
If she wants divorce and she is serious i t, then it would better for you to move on life after parting your ways.
Negotiate on quantum of alimony and settle the dispute amicably.
Ajay
(Querist) 22 November 2014
Mr. Barman,
Sincere thanks for your advice and reply.
You are right and I am agree with your suggestion.
But the problem here is now she is not ready to give divorce. She is living separately with her parents & working. There is no contact between two families, 3 months already passed. There is nothing left emotionally to continue this relationship for me as life is too long.
Now my query is - (a) What Can I do if she not giving divorce, she is playing with saying tht she is checking that I am ready to give divorce or not, Now I am ready then she is refusing.
(b)What Can I do to protect me legally. Can she harass me filing 498A & other false cases in future
My life is became a Question Mark Now, Plz Guide.....
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 22 November 2014
In the present circumstances, you should wait and watch. No preventive steps can be taken against 498A etc. cases. Time would make her understand.
Your life has also come on crossroad, however, wait and watch should be policy. Gather proof about her employment to defend you if maintenance case is filed against you.
If no amicable solution possible, accept mutual consent divorce proposal from her if received. It seems she would not agree to MCD if proposed from your side hence stay calm till proposal from her.
If any case filed by her consult local lawyer.
Ajay
(Querist) 22 November 2014
Mr. Goyal Thanks for your reply & suggestion.
This time I have patience & hence waiting for there approach, that what they want. Other than this I have no option.
Her mother run her house & she is very clever I know well. Her father is totally silent in this matter.
After Diwali When I called them to wish Diwali her mother offered me to come at her house ALONE for talk, Which I refused, I offered them any public place like mall, mandir, restaurant etc which they refused.
On Bhai Duj day my wife called me at 7PM and said tht thier is no body at her home & she want to meet me alone there. I offered to meet outside but not at her home as I was at office which she refused, She said me you can come till midnight. I know very well that on Bhai Duj Day morethan 15 people gathering was there at her home but she lied me tht her home is vacant, Don't know what was her purpose behind this. But I strictly refused & offered to meet outside which is refused.
Later thereon she called me n saying I will not leave you easily. I will not give you divorce. I replied Its okay firstly asking for divorce for which I am ready , Now You not agree for divorce in that also I am ready. I want to see you happy.
At current remedy for me is to wait and watch !, I wish God will provide me strength to get rid out of all this stuffs.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 25 November 2014
The best thing is that f she is not agreeing for mutual consent, you may opt for a regular divorce on the grounds of cruelty, consult your lawyer and decide further course of action.
