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Wife intolerable behaviour

(Querist) 17 August 2014 This query is : Resolved 
I got married in 2010 and right after the first year, I have been facing severe issues and harships because of which I am continue facing lot of problems living together with my wife.

These are the issues I have been facing:
- Mental harassment and verbal abuse
- Severe mental agony
- Abnormal behavior, suicidal threats, and tendencies
- Extreme mood swings
- Lack of trust and confidence
- Filthy language and vengeance attitude
- Emotional blackmails
- Violent at most times
The following are some of her ways of threatening:
- Get into a room and say she is going to hang herself
- Go into the kitchen, have the gas on and say she was going to blow us up
- Lodge a false case against me and parents for dowry
- Get away from the house in the night around midnight.

On 14th April 2014 she ran away from the house in the midnight at around 12 o’clock and then I call my In-laws when my in-laws came my FIL, MIL started screaming on me and my mother (widow+handicapped) I was shocked to see such sort of behaviour from my In-laws instead of giving good advice to their daughter they started screaming on me, I felt disheartened that what kind of illiterate in-laws were. After verbal argument for 2 hours thy left their daughter and told me that I was asking for dowry and other baseless allegation. She is living with me but no change in her behaviour she is not respecting me my mother.

We were relatives before marriage (close relatives marriage) and also I have one daughter.

My Wife qualification is B.A. (correspondence ) and I am B.Tech degree holder.

My in-laws lives in east delhi shahdara and I belong to Bareilly (marriage took place in bareilly)

Could any experienced eminent lawyers advice me on this?

Thanks in advance!
Deepak Nair (Expert) 17 August 2014
Sorry.
You explained in detail. But what is your requirement? What's your query?
Deepak sharma (Querist) 17 August 2014
What are the various ways to safeguard me and my family... suppose if she cut her wrist or ran away in night... go to the police station and logged complaint of dowry act....I know all the laws are gender biased...domestic voilence...she is actually want to contol me and my finances...
Deepak sharma (Querist) 17 August 2014
Actually my wife and my MIL are big drama queens they insulted me a lot in the society, they started screaming like someone dies in a family.......I am working in a software company and she is a house wife...
Deepak Nair (Expert) 17 August 2014
Do you want to continue with the relation or not???
If yes, then you need to sort out the issues on your family level.
Another option is to File a formal complaint with the police especially about the threats of suicide.
Best way for you us to approach a lawyer who have experience in handling matrimonial cases.
Deepak sharma (Querist) 17 August 2014
Thanks Deepak ji

Should I sent a copy of complaint to SHO, ACP, DCP of the area?

Please advice

Thanks,
Deepak
Devajyoti Barman (Expert) 17 August 2014
There is no way one could restrain a person form lodging false complaint.
You have to take a final call now as whether you want to continue relationship with her not.
If not then better file a divorce suit asap.
malipeddi jaggarao (Expert) 18 August 2014
First of all you should decide whether you wish to continue the marital tie or break-up.
Second - what is the route cause for the behaviour of your wife?
Third - have you taken dowry? If so, whether they gave voluntarily or you demanded for it?
Fourth - As the girl is from your relatives family, what is the medical history of the girl? What was her behaviour prior to the marriage?
If you wish to continue the marital tie -
First rectify from your side - If dowry (if at all taken by you) is frequently referred either by your wife or her parents - return it saying you are not interested in such things, you have accepted as it was given to you and looking into the problems you do not wish to keep the money/articles.
Proble into the medical history and behaviour prior to the marriage. For some time keep cool. Do not show quick response to her. After some time, start talking with love and affection ignoring her behaviour. You should do the same with your in-laws also. Slowly bring her in your line to go a psychiatrist on one pretext or other and give treatment.

If you wish to break-up:
1. Think about your daughter.
2. You will be with a stinct on your face "divorcee".
3. No there is no guarantee that you would get a better one that too with a tag of "divorcee".
4. You will have bear the burden or alimony and maintenance of your daugther life long. You have not stated your financial position.

If you still wish to go for break-up:
1. Try to convince your in-laws and wife and Mutually Consented Divorce and file a joint petition. The process will be speedier than the regular divorce petition.
2. If they do not agree for MCD, you require file divorce petition on your own on the grounds of cruelty. You will have to collect the evidence right from now to cruelty which is not so easy.

Precautions you require to take immediately:
1. In either of the cases, it is most important to file a formal complaint and get the acknowledgement on the copy of complaint from the concerned SHO of Police Station and keep on record. This will save you from future troubles in case she is missing, commits suitcide etc. Do not utter a single word abetting suicide.
2. Consult your common relatives - If you wish to continue, seek their help. People may not come forward initially, but if they recognize your sincereity some of them may come forward and discuss the problems from both sides and strike a reconciliation. If you do not wish to continue also seek their help for making the other party for MCD giving the reasons.
These things will not settle in one day. You should have determination to settle the matter and bear with your wife tackling the situation with cool and calmness.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 18 August 2014
Agreeing with experts, I will add as under.


You seem to be North Indian Hindu and said that it is close relative marriage. Please intimate how close it was. Sapinda marriage is not allowed in North Indian Hindus.

R.K Nanda (Expert) 18 August 2014
nothing to add.
ajay sethi (Expert) 18 August 2014
consult a psychiatrist . fact that your wife threatens to commit suicide , exhibits violent behaviour , extreme mood swings indicate she needs treatment
Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 18 August 2014
Agree with the experts.
V R SHROFF (Expert) 18 August 2014
You need personal consultation / councilling / in presence of your wife and parents / family members of h& w
Deepak sharma (Querist) 19 August 2014
Thanks for good suggestion..

Many Thanks and Regards,
Deepak

Shonee Kapoor (Expert) 21 August 2014
You have been guided well by experts. I would urge you not to take any hasty decisions.



Regards,

Shonee Kapoor
www.shoneekapoor.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/shoneekapoor
twitter.com/shoneekapoor
Yahoogroups: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sahodar

If you don't fight for what you want, don't cry for what you LOST.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 22 August 2014
Yes, this seems to be a strange case, to be handled by a psychiatrist/psychologist. She becomes eccentric on silly issues too, it means she is suffering from some sort of depression/phobia or may be she is not at all affected by any syndrome but enacting drama, however, the marriage can be saved if she has a consultation with any or above or make a call accordingly.
Deepak sharma (Querist) 31 August 2014
Respected lawyers.

Now some more stuff to be add as below:

My wife fought verbally with me and my mother (widow+sr. citizen+handicapped) and insulted her a lot and also she slaped her own face many times and theen she called her parents and their parents came to my house (Dated 24th august) and used very foul language againsit me and my mother and took her to thier house along with my little daughter. I felt very insulted now I have decided not to talk to her and say to her to come to my home. Now I want her to stay in thier mother house for more than two months so that I can live peaceful life.

I had recorded all this bad behaviour of my inlaws+wife.

Please guide me what should I do in this condition?

I am confused.

Please tell me DV act+Ipc 49s A.

Is maintenance is granted to wife after divorce or before divorce....
Deepak sharma (Querist) 31 August 2014
My Inlaws believe in devide and rule policy they did the same in my sister in law family...now they are planning to implement the same here....My FIL is a henpecked and my MIL is a dominant....My mIL didn't live with their in-laws in the past....
Devajyoti Barman (Expert) 31 August 2014
wife is entitled to maintenance both before divorce and after divorce if she remains unmarried and unemployed.
Deepak sharma (Querist) 31 August 2014
Thank you sir for the advice...

Any other opinion from all the respected lawyers....
ajay sethi (Expert) 31 August 2014
thanks for your appreciation
Devajyoti Barman (Expert) 31 August 2014
YOU ARE WELCOME..
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Expert) 20 October 2014
repeated on

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/My-wife-behaviour-is-not-tollerable-502961.asp
Devajyoti Barman (Expert) 20 October 2014
month log query is revived.


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