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My mother is mentally torturing me

(Querist) 25 October 2016 This query is : Resolved 
Hi I would need some suggestion in this situation. I like a guy who is from a different caste though from the same religion and I told my mother that I like this guy and want to marry him. This is something I told my mother 4 years ago and she instantly said no but I told her I would either get married to him or no one else. She kept saying no n I kept saying if not him no one else. After 4 years of telling her now she is blackmailing me saying she would die if I go against her. And she is giving me mental pressure and telling me she would house arrest me. I am a working women.. I cannot spoil my career and leave my experience just coz she has an issue. I spoke to her about my career as well and her response to that once u get married ur husband will earn incase ur husband doesn't earn than u can work somewhere. She is forcing me to marry against my wish. What are my rights against this and how do I convince her.. I totally confused and I'm getting to a stage of depression.. I agree that my mom is a single mom and she has raised me with lot of difficulties and gave me a awesome life but I can't scarifies my life for that and marry against my will. Any help and suggestion would be of great help.
Deepika (Querist) 25 October 2016
Hi I would need some suggestion in this situation. I like a guy who is from a different caste though from the same religion and I told my mother that I like this guy and want to marry him. This is something I told my mother 4 years ago and she instantly said no but I told her I would either get married to him or no one else. She kept saying no n I kept saying if not him no one else. After 4 years of telling her now she is blackmailing me saying she would die if I go against her. And she is giving me mental pressure and telling me she would house arrest me. I am a working women.. I cannot spoil my career and leave my experience just coz she has an issue. I spoke to her about my career as well and her response to that once u get married ur husband will earn incase ur husband doesn't earn than u can work somewhere. She is forcing me to marry against my wish. What are my rights against this and how do I convince her.. I totally confused and I'm getting to a stage of depression.. I agree that my mom is a single mom and she has raised me with lot of difficulties and gave me a awesome life but I can't scarifies my life for that and marry against my will. Any help and suggestion would be of great help.
About the guy he is vry supportive and even he and his family tried talking to her but she is being strong headed.
Deepika (Querist) 25 October 2016
Hi I would need some suggestion in this situation. I like a guy who is from a different caste though from the same religion and I told my mother that I like this guy and want to marry him. This is something I told my mother 4 years ago and she instantly said no but I told her I would either get married to him or no one else. She kept saying no n I kept saying if not him no one else. After 4 years of telling her now she is blackmailing me saying she would die if I go against her. And she is giving me mental pressure and telling me she would house arrest me. I am a working women.. I cannot spoil my career and leave my experience just coz she has an issue. I spoke to her about my career as well and her response to that once u get married ur husband will earn incase ur husband doesn't earn than u can work somewhere. She is forcing me to marry against my wish. What are my rights against this and how do I convince her.. I totally confused and I'm getting to a stage of depression.. I agree that my mom is a single mom and she has raised me with lot of difficulties and gave me a awesome life but I can't scarifies my life for that and marry against my will. Any help and suggestion would be of great help.
About the guy he is vry supportive and even he and his family tried talking to her but she is being strong headed.
Guest (Expert) 25 October 2016
Your Title of the Query it self seems to Reflect the Facts.I have Not read your Query.Please I Request you to Post the Out come in the same Thread after 2 years.
Guest (Expert) 25 October 2016
Value of mother could be Understood Only in Long Run.
Guest (Expert) 25 October 2016
But it would be Too Late and Any regret would fetch you No result.
Guest (Expert) 25 October 2016
Mother would be always right in the welfare of her children.
Guest (Expert) 25 October 2016
I remember reading in a book that while Aadhi shankara was helping his Parents to have a bath in a river God had called him.And he had replied Only after Completing my Duties to my Parents I would come to You.
Guest (Expert) 25 October 2016
And in Fact God had admired and adored him.
P. Venu (Expert) 26 October 2016
You are grown up and employed too. There is nothing that prevents you from taking your own decision. But ensure that it is in your judgement. And that marriage is a lifetime choice.
Kumar Doab (Expert) 26 October 2016
You have already been provided with wise and legal advise,both.


Kumar Doab (Expert) 26 October 2016
It is your own judgment, of course.



However, it is good on your part, that you have not failed to recognize that your mother is a single mom and she has given you an awesome life.



Thus you are pearl of her eyes.





Although you have also posted that she is strong headed.


Probably she is rightly advising you for your life ahead and your future.



Give her some more time to assess again.
Guest (Expert) 26 October 2016
Your welfare rests in your mother's advice. No mother unduly tortures her children.
Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 26 October 2016
You said:

She is forcing me to marry against my wish. What are my rights against this

reply:

Legally you are not bound to accept her wish, you can marry, as per your wish.

You said:
I agree that my mom is a single mom and she has raised me with lot of difficulties and gave me a awesome life but I can't scarifies my life for that and marry against my will.

reply:

You are just eye washing that you are aware of her difficulties.Legally you are not bound to sacrifice your life. Your mother was bound to sacrifice her life for you, you were her daughter.

You said:
About the guy he is vry supportive and even he and his family tried talking to her but she is being strong headed.

reply:

Are you sure that the match your mother is suggesting would not be supportive.

Rajendra K Goyal (Expert) 26 October 2016
If you try to read this thread after 3 years of your marriage, you would feel that your mother was right.

You did not sacrificed once even the sacrifice was for your betterment, but she sacrificed many times for you in her life.

But, I am sure, such sentences / advice is not going to change your views / decision at this stage.
adv.bharat @ PUNE (Expert) 26 October 2016
Agreed with expert opinion.


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