My husband cheated on me
pratyusha
(Querist) 26 April 2017
This query is : Resolved
i am an m.tech graduate married to an sbi employee 3 years back and we are having a 1year old daughter.last year my husband got promoted as scale one officer and he had a traineeing for 1month in hyderabad and jabalpur.This changed my life,i dnt know what happened there he started to behave strange weird,he started avoiding me and our child and maintained a personal life in the mobile phone..on the valentines day i saw found a msg in his watsup he msged i love you to a lady called rachana...when i saw the num in true called it was shown that the num is from mumbai and that women is also working in sbi who was one in that training...when i asked why did u put such msg to that women he lied that its just for fun and told that,that lady is diversed and was in mental depression...after 2 day i found the mumbai tickets and a hotel room bill in his purse...i directly asked him and he said that he just went mumbai for get together..he lied to very for every thing i asked...again now he went to training where that bitch is also coming...i came to know this from one of my relatives working on sbi...he is not behaving like my husband he is planning to get me and my child out of his way....what should i do now
Guest
(Expert) 26 April 2017
To be very frank, your story seems to be doubtful, as if a fabricated academic query,
However, if you doubt his integrity and loyalty, you may take divorce. But you should know, doubts and suspicions in family life of a couple ruins the the whole life of both of the married couple.
The other option is to confide on his relatives and friends and take their help.
It is you only, who can save or destroy your married life with your unfaltered love, trust and confidence to be maintained between both of you
P. Venu
(Expert) 26 April 2017
The concluding sentences compels that you have not disclosed the whole truth!
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 26 April 2017
You can request the controlling Regional Manager not to depute him on training where the lady is also deputed or not to send him for training in future. Bank can adjust training at some other training center / place. Training in SBI is continuous process. There are no. of officers in SBI who have seldom attended training.
Talk to concerned lady.
May request the controlling Regional Manager to transfer him to another suitable place if possible. Discuss the problem with SBI officers Association office bearers / general secretory, may assist you.
He can not marry her without divorcing you.
Try to search job and be independent. Take help of relatives of both side.
Guest
(Expert) 26 April 2017
A Precise good advise by Mr.Rajendra K Goyal.One small change instead of talking to that lady better Warn that lady with a legal notice strongly ofcourse it would provoke your husband but you have to be strong and keep him in your control .Keep the phone numbers of Local Women's Legal Aid Forums and Local Police.
pratyusha
(Querist) 26 April 2017
tq for the advises....
i need to explain more situations and i can explain them face to face...he is not loyal to me i can prove it...how should i solve this
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 27 April 2017
@ Pratusha
1. Well analysed and advised by experts, I agree.
2. Discuss with your husband and the woman where you find some "extra-marital" affairs of your husband and clear your doubts and suspicions. Besides them you may discuss with your in-laws and SBI Officers in the chain of command of your husband.Try to resolve the issue without seeking legal relief(s)/taking legal recourse, which is bound to be disastrous.
3. Do not save few words while typing your query/question using sms language. It becomes very difficult to understand your perception to form an opinion, advise you properly and bad for such an educated lady like you.
4. You can explore roping in some matrimonial "counselor" to help your husband come out of such a situation.
Guest
(Expert) 27 April 2017
Other man's wife.other woman's husband.others money would be Poison.You should make her realize that by serving a strong Legal Notice with the help of Good Senior Advocate.Tresspasser should be Strictly Prohibited.Handle your husband boldly with Courage.Your strong action now would provide a peaceful life in the long run though you have to face some obstacles now.Keep the Phone numbers of Local Women's Free Legal aid forums available in all the courts and local Police numbers also.Be strong in mind and handle it.
Guest
(Expert) 27 April 2017
Sorry to differ with the opinion of Mr. NJS Rajkumar to the extent of strong legal notice. Even an ordinary legal notice, what to say of strong legal notice can spoil your game, if you can otherwise able to revive your relations.
Guest
(Expert) 27 April 2017
Author/Querist,The sections of Prostitution would precisely suit that Lady .Consult Local GOOD Senior Advocate.Refer Sec 377 IPC and ITPA (SITA) Act amended in 1986 to your Advocate
Guest
(Expert) 27 April 2017
Author Please Ignore this following message.It is not for you and this is "To whom so ever it may concern"."You can not expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people"._Joel Osteen.(So obviously better to Ignore them ).
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 27 April 2017
You must have taken copies the messages, bills, tickets etc.
If he traveled to Mumbai for the said ‘Get Together’ (Unofficial) then he must have taken leave from office.
Avoid leveling false allegations or comments on unfounded grounds.
If they are found in in-descent, compromising condition while on duty/training in premises of employer then they shall be committing transgressions leading to misconduct.
Aise chonchle tab tak hain jab tak nokri theek chal rahi hai or pagaar milti hai. Isko dhakka lagte hi ye sab showk kaffoor ho sakta hai.
Such Indiscretions (Chonchle) are till they are getting descent salary, perks, facilities………… from employer. If it is hit then all these may be gone with the wind.
Mr. Rajendra K goyal is forthright and having been with bank knows the system in and out.
Some terse words and suitable action (warming up) from Bank’s Officials (even seasoned union leaders) and elders of the family (and you too) can bring your husband back on the track and the other lady may also deject, eject him and her too from such indiscretions.
Try it.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 27 April 2017
An immediate stern action from your end may hamper the job of your husband and may affect the survival of marriage.
You have already spoken tot he other lady and she being aware of marital stats of your husband ( a colleague also) must have avoided such indiscretions. She is an outsider.
Still do you have evidence of her indiscretions!
A balanced and careful action may bring him back on track and to you and your son.
If the situation has worsened then generate irrefutable evidence of each transaction for use in future at appropriate time in appropriate forum to defend your interest.
If you feel along with elders of your family visit a very able counsel of unshakable repute and integrity specializing in Family matters, at your location.
If all of you feel take your husband on a visit to your counsel.
A chit chat on what is what by your counsel may drill the sense into head.
Avoid acting in haste.
Litigation can be costly, stressful, and time consuming.
Avoid making litigation your 1st priority.
Guest
(Expert) 27 April 2017
Dear Author,Tomorrow if that Illegal/Immoral lady comes and stand as pregnant though she is illegal her child would have /claim all the Legal rights.Better beware and immediately send Strong Legal Notice thro an Senior Good Advocate and implement the Precaution methods.Moral advises/pleadings/requests to such people would make them think that you are under their mercy.Be Bold and Act STRONGLY.Consult Local good advocate.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 27 April 2017
If relations are matured to such an extent then you need to be fully concerned and act firmly.
You are closest to the facts.
