Marrying second under muslim law without divorce

Abdul (Querist) 12 April 2014 This query is : Resolved
Hi,

I am Abdul. This is the extension of the resolved query by me on link http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Want-my-family-together-461701.asp#.U0jUvU3ra00.

As of now I have left the house in her name after the police entered the house forcefully and did the act with her support entirely against the law. For that I had filed a complaint to the ADGP and a copy to the home minister against the police on 17.03.2014. Waiting for the action, but it seems they try it to make it floating. Though my lawyer told me to act tough like filing a suit against her so that she wont be able to sell it or give it for rent. But I haven't gone for it as I tried to finish the divorce legally in a mutual consent as per majority of u experts.

But now the problem is she is not showing much interest for it and likes to add more terms and conditions and she is not revealing those. I am fed up with her. When I tried to talk to her over her banks land line (she will not attend her mobile) she is threatening me with filing harassment case.

Now I am in a mind to go for another marriage as she is delaying the things. What I want to know is if I marry another one under Muslim law without pronouncing thalaque, what are the consequences I have to face from her apart from 498a?. As per my knowledge I have to maintain my kids whether divorced or not, but doesn't have give maintenance to her as she is earning well as a bank officer and having two properties in her name, one in Calicut and one in Bangalore.

Pls advise me.

Follow Query

Report Abuse

ajay sethi (Expert) 12 April 2014
you have taken correct decision in vacating the flat owned by your wife .

you can remarry again . she can file for divorce if you remarry .

you will have to continue paying maintenance for the children

Abdul (Querist) 12 April 2014
Thank u Ajay.

Anybody got a different opinion.?

P. Venu (Expert) 13 April 2014
If you are a public servant, you may be required to obtain the requisite permission for entering into the second marriage.

Dr V. Nageswara Rao (Expert) 13 April 2014
1. You pronounce talaaq to your first wife, if she is a Muslim, as per Muslim Law in the presence of two witnesses.

2. Go through nikah with your new bride.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Expert) 13 April 2014
In my opinion you can marry for the second time even while your first marriage is subsisting, it is permissible under Muslim Personal Law. However, since she is firm to sever all her connections with you, it will not be advisable for you to continue your marital relationship with her anymore.Getting divorce under Muslim Personal law is very easy, better divorce her and go for a second marriage instead of bothering about the first marriage and balancing the second marriage.

Abdul (Querist) 13 April 2014
Thank you all of your opinions and I value all of them.

But I still want to clarify the following things.
1. Though I hate my wife considering a lot of stuffs and also very difficult to continue with her, I don't want to actually divorce her because If I do that from my side, I have to pay her the big amount towards her claim under Sec 3 of Muslim Women (protection of right on divorce) Act-1986. (She can claim later if she wants to trouble me even if she says she doesn't want it)
2. Since she told in front of the mediators that she doesn't want to continue life with me, we had decided to prepare the divorce paper in favour of me by quoting a virtual amount that she received.

3. But as of now once she got her house back, she is delaying her decision to divorce me or she is trying to add more terms and conditions. As per my knowledge of understanding her and her relatives, though she doesn't want to continue with me, she doesn't have much intention about a new life as she is already crossed 42, and now got two kids. Also she is having such a nature that she likes to have an independent life without anybody's disturbance apart from her parents and relatives. So she may be not much interested for divorce, but may like for separation for some years so that she can see whether I changed myself as per her wishes. (Her biggest concern about me apart from other things that I should completely stop drinking). Frankly speaking I was not that bad except having the same only on a very few occasions when we were together.

4. But I can't wait for so long like that. If she doesn't agree for a divorce by mutual consent, I have no option but to go for next marriage. It's not for the purpose that I will have the right to her property or any of her assets if something happens to her since our marital relationship still there.

5. But as Mr Venu suggested I have to be cautious as I am a public servant. Also there can be a threat like 498A from my wife, if she came to know that I married another.

ROHIT SHARMA (Expert) 14 April 2014
Dear Brother Abdul,

Ass'salam'malekum,

1. As i read Sec 3 of Muslim Women (protection of right on divorce) Act-1986. e, you will be required to pay her the Maharn or dower only when you divorce her as provided under the Personal Laws of Muslim.

2. You have not as yet divorced so this s. 3 Muslim Women (protection of right on divorce) Act-1986 is not attracted.

3. You can get married to another Muslim lady without giving her divorce but then you would be responsible for her maintenance ( in you case it will not be necessary since she is gainfully employed) yet you will need to provide her a place of separate residence if she insists so and provide maintenance for your children unless she is unable to do so.

4. If the problem is that you say she hates you because you drink a lot and being a Muslim you are forbidden to drink and this is perhaps what she want's you to become - a pious Muslim gentleman. Think over this aspect of life.

5. Of course you can find another Muslim girl and get married and that would make you feel more of your good self but then would that women too would not mind you drinking unless she is not a devout Muslim women and would also give you company.

6. I still think she will not file any complaints against you. Yes, she got the police in the house because every married or even a divorced women would need a house. You must have been under influence of liquor and probably were not aware that such house was her property.

7. Try and reconcile. If she is 42 then you too would be not less than 47. Think of the children. You must have been together for such a long time.

8, Yes, if you can afford a second Wife nothing should then stop you.

Adv. Rohit Sharma.
(B.Sc. L.L.B. L.L.M.)
(M) 098249047971.
E-Mail : lawgate1349@gmail.com.

Dr V. Nageswara Rao (Expert) 14 April 2014
1. The 1996 Act was intended to restore the primacy of Mulim shariat law after Shahbano case.
2. You can only divorce her under triple talaq. You have to pay mehr as agreed.You need not pay any thing more to her except maintenance to kids.
3. As she is not willing for divorce you cannot have a recourse to any other mode.Of course, compromise is always the best method.

Abdul (Querist) 15 April 2014
Thank u Rohit sharma and Dr. V. Nageswara Rao for the valuable advise. But I have some clarifications to Rohith sharma.

1. Needless to say I am only 43, though she crossed 42. Though it shouldn't be a problem, it affected us at a lot of situations, especially while taking decisions. she used to over turn me on a number of occasions especially while purchasing the house which is now in question.

2. vacating her house is fine. But it is the question of relevance. We purchased that house while both were working in the same city ,Kozhikode with the intention of settling there. But when she got transferred to a little far city, Malappuram (1.5 hours journey from Kozhikode by bus, no train route) , things turned down and she herself arranged a house for rent there and prevented me to come over there and started telling me to vacate her house in Kozhikode. I initially showed some resilience because I have the following points. 1) I took transfer to Kozhikode from my native place called Kannur (2.5 hours by bus) because she didn't have the bank branch at my home town after marriage. 2)Though she got transferred to another place I am still in the same city and I thought I will stay in the same house because we are still not divorced, though separated. 3) I told her to finish the divorce formalities , if she wants me to vacate the house. Then happened the police act.

3. I totally agree with rohit sharma not to drink as it's against Islamic principles. But this matter was discussed between me and her before the marriage when she was at Bangalore (they were settled in Bangalore and she was born and brought up there and she also got a property there). I was always ready to completely stop that provided she also rectify in lot of things. She was always caring her job and personal gains, not giving me minimum importance. Sleeping separately in a different room, completely depending on servant for anything and everything including caring the kids etc..The way she lived with me resembles like we are just business partners not life partners.

I agree that since drinking is banned in Islam it should be avoided, but there are things also banned in islam. For example, handling with interest is banned in islam. But her bank officer job is such that it involves handling interest which is haram in islam . That she cannot stop, but drinking very rarely by me should be completely stopped. How this can be justified? But it's just an argument. As far as I am concerned I am ready to stop that habit , ready to follow Islamic ways etc provided she should come forward to have a very good marital life trying to do her part as wife. I don't want her to stop her job.

But the way she used the police to throw me out and sent me to a lodge is very cruel and inhumane. Nobody around including the neighbourhood supported her act.

But thinking our 5 yr old boy and 2 yr old girl I am very tensed and worried. Though I say I want to marry another, I am seeing it as only an extreme step if nothing positive happens. I wish she should also read these blogs from me and you guys so that she should understand there are lot more important things in life than just money and properties.

ROHIT SHARMA (Expert) 15 April 2014
Dear Mr Abdul,

1. Read your counter reply.

2. Well, i do agree that marriage is considered under Muslim Personal laws as contract and not nothing beyond that. The terms and condition of such contract are best to your knowledge and do think she has to serve you as a master and she being responsible for for household work and rearing and raising of children.

3. Yes, it appears that she is rather cruel by nature and does not indeed follow the concepts of Muslim faith.

4. In such a situation you have a remedy i.e. without giving her talaq get married to another Muslim lady. Your personal laws do permit such second marriages and it would not amount to be an offence of bigamy.

5. You see as per Muslim Personal law your children until they attain the age of 14 years their mother is their natural guardian. This is because as per the marriage contract she is bound to be responsible for their up bringing and their welfare.

7. Since she has her own independent house, and is gainfully employed you do not have to worry about providing her maintenance or Mahar or dower unless you divorce her.

8. If you continue to co-habit with her then it is likely that she may file false police complaints to avenge your status citing domestic violence as she is used to be treated more like a free minded liberal Women and does exploit your good nature.

9. Well, i did not intend that every Muslim should give up alcoholic drinks, but then it is o.k. for to do so once a while and should not lead you to live a life of like a despondent.

10. I think you need to resolve this issue and all that you need is to do is find your own accommodation and just inform her that you have decided to have a second wife and she is welcome to stay with you along with your second wife and if she refuses then she has her own house and this is how you will escape from your social liabilities under your Muslim Personal laws by having informed her of your desire to have a second wife.

11. In need be post further query.

Adv. Rohit Sharma.
(B.Sc. L.L.B. L.L.M.)
(M) 09824047971.
E-Mail : lawgate1349@gmail.com

8.

Abdul (Querist) 15 April 2014
Thank u so much Rohith.

One think that kept on troubling my mind is why the hell people go around the religious stuff rather than thinking as a normal human being. As per your suggestion it's fair that I can easily go for a second marriage under muslim personal law. But my worry is about my kids. Once I started new life with my new wife, there is a possibility that I may lose some grounds on them and will start going away from them even though I maintain them monetarily. (Already I am separated from them for the last six months though I meet them occasionally ). Its really a horrible thing as far as kids are concerned.

My wife ignore everything happened so far. For eg. When she was pregnant for the second child, she told me to abort her as she is worried about the first kid who had been under treatment for his eye related defects (Ptosis along with squint). But I gave her full support for avoiding the abortion. After the baby girl born she was so happy that she told me that it was a wonderful decision not to abort. (But still she had not given much appreciation to me :-)) What I wanted was we both go along well so that the kids will grow under us which they will not get anywhere else. But that really seem to be out of question.

But I know this sort of emotional aspect will not do when things turned bad especially with respect to a lady like my wife. She might be worried about the children who she might not want to grow along with a father who sometimes drinks and does not follow Islamic activities regularly and correctly. As far as I am concerned we as individual has our own freedom to live without being dumped on religious stuffs. My only requirement is you live legally without troubling others. She was well aware of me before the marriage. Then how could she turn down them now?

So for marrying second for personal gain fine..but future of children..???

Yes, I know , to gain something, you may have to lose something. So taking a final decision is most important thing.

P. Venu (Expert) 16 April 2014
If you are a public servant, I repeat, you need to get permission for the second marriage.

ROHIT SHARMA (Expert) 16 April 2014
Dear Mr Abdul,

1. Yes, i do agree that one does have a religion for to his faith in the existence of one and only one God to survive. Rituals are for those who are initiates who have no idea as what who is GOD and are not able to comprehend the universality of human race.

2. Well, as children are truly innocent like what the Almighty is about his own existence and especially when they still infants and have not even grown as teenagers.

3. You are certainly have a legal right to meet them as and whenever you wish to do.

4. You see her mother must realize that a father is indispensable as far as in grooming of children's maturity towards life.

5. Just keep your cool. Go ahead and make a resolution whether to get married second time. I think you should be looking forward to having some one pleasing to give you company for the rest of your life.

6.Yes, like other advises you need to just inform that you have married and have a second wife for the sake of records in your office administration.

P. Venu (Expert) 16 April 2014
I am afraid that last item of the above opinion is incorrect. Please refer to Rule 21 of the CCS(Conduct) Rules and the Government decisions there under.

Abdul (Querist) 16 April 2014
Yeah. Mr Venu is correct. I had the same opinion from my colleagues. But who is bothered about this in a govt. set up. I will get the threat only when any body pressurise the govt. about this. (The only possibility is my current wife if she really got annoyed with my decision.) Even my colleagues are not bothered about the govt. rule, but as per their opinion, I will be more relaxed to marry the next lady if I legally finish the divorce formalities with my current wife so that I will not have much head ache in future.

ABDUL RAZIQUE (Expert) 16 April 2014
Abdul Saheb
I study your problem and answers of our experts, i do not agree with Second Marriage formula, because if the Second lady became more harsh then first lady, what will you do? will you divorce her and remarry to any other lady?
the right of children always with you, you get children from second and third marry and the children want maintenance to you and lastly you have no money to pay them or you pass your life as a beggar.
so in my opinion either settle the matter with first wife or divorce her but no marry to any lady and pass a joyful life.

Abdul (Querist) 17 April 2014
Abdul Razique Saheb,

Thanks for your opinion. But you speak like a pessimist. See I married my current wife not thinking that she will be like what she is right now. But sometimes fate is so cruel that your calculation will be wrong and that's what I am facing now which anybody in this world will be unfortunately faced to do. But since my wife is not showing much interest for a mutual divorce and since she is not entertaining for me for the reunion of my family and my kids, what is left for me? Should I wait for life long to turn her decision? I don't want to divorce her from my side because of the reason I said in my early blogs. How can u assume that my next partner will be like what my current wife. It is again to be left for fate. You just need to be optimistic for your next move.

ABDUL RAZIQUE (Expert) 17 April 2014
My brother, i am not talking like a pessimist. i am optimist but the time is so cruel that nothing can be explain, and if need to explain then need an office for explanation. Nowadays there are more and more person who are facing problem like u. You move forwardly may ALLAH Ta AaLA save, care and fulfill your wish.

Dr V. Nageswara Rao (Expert) 18 April 2014
I repeat what I said earlier as a safe mode:

1. The 1996 Act was intended to restore the primacy of Mulim shariat law after Shahbano case.
2. You can only divorce her under triple talaq. You have to pay mehr as agreed.You need not pay any thing more to her except maintenance to kids.
3. As she is not willing for divorce you cannot have a recourse to any other mode.Of course, compromise is always the best method.

Abdul (Querist) 18 April 2014
Rao sir,

Compromise means reunion or mutual divorce? As of now the first one is out of question.

Dr V. Nageswara Rao (Expert) 19 April 2014
1. If reuninon is not possible, do not go for Khula under Muslin law. Just divorce her under triple talaq in the presence of witnesses as per Muslim Law and pay mehr.

2. Then, you marry again. Then you will not have problems with job.
3. Be hopeful. Give up drinking habit as it is a source of all problems. Be nice and loyal to your second wife. Rebuild your life with discipline.

4. God bless you.

ABDUL RAZIQUE (Expert) 19 April 2014
I hope you will appreciate Rao Sir advice and your problem will be resolved.

Abdul (Querist) 19 April 2014
Thank you Rao and Razique sir, and all others who had been giving me invaluable advise and support so far..

Though my wife hurt me like any thing and still doing, I am praying the god, good thing to happen because I am not able to miss my little kids...If she comes forward for a re union with a positive mind to change from her side also, I am ready to go for a de addiction course for stopping the drinking completely which she had suggested earlier..

ROHIT SHARMA (Expert) 20 April 2014
Dear Mr. Abdulbhai,

1. Talk this out with her.

2. Yes, de-addiction courses do help out.

3. Your still 43. There are many more years of happiness to live through.

4. If you can both assemble together and then have a chat with me i would be able to get your both on the same wavelength.

5. I am not a miracle men but a logical mined person. Even you pay and pray for miracles to happens then why not get an person who can advocate for both the sides and this is called mediation and counseling.

P. Venu (Expert) 20 April 2014
Mr.Abdul!
I am a scripting this reply not as a legal expert (which any I am not being too recent an entrant), but a person who is happily married for the last thirty five years. I am writing this with the firm belief that the starting block for any improvement being honest with one-self.

Your queries and subsequent reveals that you are prone to act without caring for the consequences and you always have ready-made justifications for your indifference (as could be made from your reactions to your admitted addiction to liquor as well the suggestion to obtaining permission for the second marriage); in other words, you appear to be unwilling to share or take up responsibilities.
In every walk of life, it is the willingness to share or take up responsibility that leads to a contented living. Your actions and reactions reveal that your comfort zone lies elsewhere. I suggest that only solution your travails is to dehypnotise yourself to make yourself capable of honest and meaningful introspection. Perhaps, your second marriage can wait till then.

Please note that laws, or the norms of the society forms mere road map. A vehicle, however good it is, and a road map cannot take any one any where, unless there is a person who is willing to take the responsibility of driving and steering it.

Abdul (Querist) 20 April 2014
I totally agree with Mr. Venu Sir. You rightly said about it. I'll give u a detailed reply later. Let me look deep into me

Abdul (Querist) 30 April 2014
Mr. Venu, Rohith sharma and all others,

For the last some days, I had been working out on myself and trying to find out the best possible options for me. I just kept on silent not going for any further movement. But as you all know, I had given complaint to the higher police official (ADGP) and home minister about the illegal violent act against me by a police officer accompanied my wife on 17.3.2014. From the home ministry I got a letter on 22.4.2014 that the complaint has been forwarded to the IG in my region.

But I am shocked to see that I got the letter in my home town from ADGP and it says there is no such incident happened that day and no police officer had done that act. There were neighbours witnessed the incident and I am not sure what happened. I just don't want to leave this just like that. I am ready to take this to any level. This is just because they have done that act (police officer entering the house where I was staying along with my wife, though it's in her name and abusing me and throwing my stuffs outside.) clearly against the law. Though the neighbours want me to inform the incident to the media and make it to be known to the world, I just prevented them that day, otherwise things would have been different now.

Please guide me as what should I do next against them though I just want to keep silent about my wife as of now. Should I go to human right commission or court? I am thinking about filing an RTI to ADGP as what are the enquiries they done? whom they contacted, statements from them etc...

P. Venu (Expert) 01 May 2014
You can initiate criminal proceedings.

Marrying second under muslim law without divorce

Similar Resolved Queries :

Download LCI APP

Our Network Sites