Husband cheating
Sonia Dsouza
(Querist) 26 August 2017
This query is : Resolved
Hello Expects,
My husband was cheating on me since time i was 8 months pregnant....now my son is 1 n half yrs old..... I caught him red handed n confronted him n he agreed that he is been having affair.... And I left him n staying with my parents....not divorced yet.... From few months v had no contact with each other.... Now from few days he is constantly messaging me to come back and give one chance..... So I told him to write down everything that he was having an affair n he will not repeat this again and if at all it happens again then I will have rights to divorce him without any court fight(mutually) and I will get the custody of my son without any problems created by him.....
My question is I want this to be written legally by my husband... How do i go abt it??
Thank u in advance
Guest
(Expert) 26 August 2017
Ms. Sonia Dsouza,
Don't you feel that by leaving your husband, instead of trying to restore mutual trust you preferred to encourage him by voluntarily giving more opportunity to enjoy his affair? If he has affair with some other lady, that indicates your own incapability to win his trust and loyalty.
Please be aware, mutual trust and loyalty cannot be created by any written agreement. Decide this way or that way. If you can afford to trust him any more, you can join him, otherwise, be firm to get divorce, if you can't trust him any more. If you get anything in writing and even get that registered, any such legal document cannot ensure creation of mutual trust between both of you.
Better use your own wisdom than any borrowed wisdom. You have to spend your whole life in his company.
Sonia Dsouza
(Querist) 26 August 2017
Mr. Dhingra, u r telling me tat i hv given him freedom by moving out to enjoy his affair.... He was doing it even when I was der....my son was very small when I had to go through all this.... And I had to take care of him all alone when my husband was busy having affair.... I had to move out for my peace of mind coz I was going into depression....its been many months v r away so I thought may be he realized his mistake and want to change...and I should give him that change... But tat does not mean I hv to close my eyes n trust him blindly....this written document I need for my n my sons safety... I also know tat no legal procedure can help me gain my trust back... I hv to do myself....
So I just want to go know if it's possible n what's the procedure....
Sonia Dsouza
(Querist) 26 August 2017
Mr. Dhingra, u r telling me tat i hv given him freedom by moving out to enjoy his affair.... He was doing it even when I was der....my son was very small when I had to go through all this.... And I had to take care of him all alone when my husband was busy having affair.... I had to move out for my peace of mind coz I was going into depression....its been many months v r away so I thought may be he realized his mistake and want to change...and I should give him that change... But tat does not mean I hv to close my eyes n trust him blindly....this written document I need for my n my sons safety... I also know tat no legal procedure can help me gain my trust back... I hv to do myself....
So I just want to go know if it's possible n what's the procedure....
Guest
(Expert) 26 August 2017
Ms. Sonia Dsouza,
Please try to interpret my statement correctly, when I said, "BY LEAVING your husband, ......................you preferred to encourage him by voluntarily GIVING MORE OPPORTUNITY to enjoy his affair." Naturally, by remaining separate, you have given him more opportunity.
Better be aware, trust and loyalty was required to be created in you and by you only by living with him, NOT by getting separated from him voluntarily. If accustomed to affair, no written agreement can be expected to bind him.
That is my opinion. If that does not suit, you may conveniently ignore that.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 26 August 2017
If you are getting a chance try to save marriage.
Even if he give this in writing, it may be very difficult to get divorce on the basis of this paper.
Try if marriage is saved. If he indulge in such activity again, try to gather other proofs of his act to help you in divorce.
Rudrawar Narayanreddy
(Expert) 26 August 2017
Adultery is ground for divorce among christian. You can insist for writing document detailing state of affairs you undergone. If you join him it means that you have forgiven him. So his earlier behavior will not help you to get divorce. the latter incident of cheating i.e. having affair is to be proved before court and document will not be of much help.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 26 August 2017
In the given circumstances posted by you you may certainly not accept the statement of
IT=@PSD that IT=@PSD has ITSELF accepted and asked to not to go by IT's advise in the thread.
If you have given many opportunities and still the other spouse is not mending ways and habits the generosity can not be eternal.......
